"Miss, are you a cancer? My mother is a cancer and she's very controlling, too." I am a cancer, but I don't think requiring students to sit while taking a test makes me controlling for pete's sake!
"I had an emergency. I couldn't find my lip gloss." At least she was honest about why she was tardy. And I didn't even ask her-- she just volunteered that!
"Oh, we're doing work today?" As opposed to what other day when we don't?
"Will you go to the homecoming dance with me?" No, and you're still not going to get an A in my class unless you work!
"Miss, I can't sit down-- I'm too tired!"
"It will make me hungry if I sit down!"
"Miss, that's HATERISM!"
"Is this for a grade?" Question asked during the final exam.
"Are you a dominant or a submissive?" Cheeky question for the first day of school, little miss, although if you were looking to shock me, think again.
"Miss! You're so fat! Are you pregnant?" This was shouted out in the middle of class and I'd just gained weight...
One of my friends gave me this one from a kid who was actually making a joke:
"Miss, if scope is a mouthwash, is a microscope what they call the travel size bottles?"
Another teacher mentioned this today:
One student to another: "She wasn't in Colorado, stupid. She was in Denver!"
Read the comments for other comments from others and add your own!