Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick...

I am so freaking excited! I totally need a break from snotty teenagers.

This week has been a little easier in some ways, harder in others. Because of this new bonus system, we test students we don't teach, which completely sucks. I get to have a room full of evil and immature ninth graders who don't know me and how I don't put up with crap. I apparently have no memory because I taught all ninth graders last year and I've completely forgotten what a true joy they are. I did remember to just ignore the farting and bird noises because they tend to stop sooner that way.

I did get a few kids who argued with me about the directions for the test. I'm like, it's a script. If you think it's useless info, take the opportunity to zone out, but don't argue with me. Also, they had trouble with the concept of not talking. And they had the discussion again about how this test "doesn't count." It's the Stanford 10 and it goes on their transcript. One kid pointed that out and the other said, see, it doesn't count. Oy.

There's one particular student who is a thorn in my side. She's completely out of control. Among many other things, she and I have been around and around about her eating in my room. The very first day she was in my room, as she walked in I took away her armload of snacks. On Monday I took away food on at least three different occasions.

Yesterday I walked over to answer a question she had and since I was trying to be quiet, I leaned down and saw a roll of opened Sweet Tarts... in her cleavage. Yuck. I considered saying something but thought she might have a screaming fit that I was looking down her shirt. I ended up just shaking my head and walking away.

Later on, I was standing at the front of the room reading the instructions for another subtest and I saw kids passing something that made a crinkling noise to my favorite students. I told her to give it to me and she shoved it down her shirt. Nice. I repeated that she needed to give it to me. She eventually handed me a fun-size Snickers bar (in a wrapper). Yuck. I just took it and threw it in my drawer. I figured that would keep her from digging in the trash. I mean, yuck. Who walks around with a vending machine worth of candy down their shirt?

Oh, and later when we were taking a short stretch break, she busts out with, "Miss! I think all women should shave all their body hair." And goes on to describe how it's gross and how she has hair on her stomach. The other kids were embarassed for her. I just asked her to cool it. Jeez.

Never a dull moment. But seriously, I am going to get more mileage out of that candy down her shirt story. When did she think that was a good idea?!?


ksl said...

I heard about a lady who was a nurse and when she went to give this really fat lady a sponge bath she found a sandwich under her boob. Yuck! She was hiding it because she was about to have sugery and they would not feed her.

Kelli in the Mirror said...

Yuck to all of that. A face immediately popped in my head during that story---a girl I wish I didn't remember. :)

And a sandwich? What is that about? Gross!

Grant-Will-Rant said...

It reminds me of the Family Guy preview I saw on TV last night. The nurse finds a vcr in the father's belly button. But a sandwich under the boob takes the cake.

And seriously, respect in the classroom has gone out the door. It's truly a shame. Where's Nurse Ratchet when you need her?

Kate said...


Maybe I don't love food enough, but once it's been that close to my body, I'm not interested anymore.