Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Depressed

Again. Or still. I'm not really sure. I suppose I've been dealing with this on and off at least since puberty, although I was a moody little kid as well. In the last 8-9 years I've been through the gamut of testing and doctors and diagnoses. I've gained and lost weight drastically. I've spent weeks sitting in the dark and then time thinking I was about to jump out of my skin. I've been lucky enough never to have harmed myself irreparably. The current diagnosis is depression with anxiety.

I'm going to the doctor this week to see if it's time to change to a different kind of/dosage of my current brain candy. I hate being in such a slump. It doesn't make any sense. Even though I know this is largely chemical, I still feel somehow that I am weak for being affected by this. As if there is something I should or could be doing.

Sigh. So sorry about the lack of funny posts. Or lack of posts at all. I just don't have the energy to follow through. Lots of posts die as drafts. Hopefully I'll be doing better soon. I don't want to be happy 100% of the time, I'd just like to feel like hammered dog s*** less of the time.

3 comments:

Oliver Dale said...

Don't have to be funny all the time; that's why they keep me around.

Take care!

Loni said...

Hugs and prayers for you...hopefully they will take away some of those blues.

Manic Mom said...

Hey, I soooo understand what you're going through. I was like this ALLLL winter, of course, living in Chicago doesn't help much when you're bummin' out in the months of November through March.

I am totally in favor of finding the right meds. I'm on Effexor. Have you tried it? THanks for stopping by my Manic blog the other night when I was drinking!