Thursday, September 28, 2006

You can't make this up!

3 hours of safety training tonight. After I spent two class periods in my ski lodge of a classroom, with the kids wearing horrible goggles the entire time. Oh, and me, too. And it was like 8000% humidity and our goggles were so foggy it was practically raining inside them all. I threw one kid out onto the steps out front because she wasn't wearing her goggles and refused to get her head off her desk. I left the door open so she could hear all the fun she was missing. Plus, I could keep something of an eye on her. I'm not a big fan of throwing kids out into the hall to wander. Heck, that's what they want!

So, Danielle and I showed up almost a half hour early and our other friend was there already. We attacked the food table as soon as we thought it wouldn't be completely rude. Not the fanciest of spreads-- a tray of sammiches, including some kind of poultry/fish salad--smelled like tuna. But my favorite was the bologna and American cheese on white bread. Yahoo! Seriously, the seven year old who was "tortured" by a 100% health food diet and ocassionally got to eat lunch with friends and their moms would serve bologna and American cheese, slathered with Hellman's mayonaise and yellow mustard with iceberg lettuce and tomato. And I would eat two, scraping the bread from behind my teeth and off the roof of my mouth. Ah...

After eating my super-healthy dinner, complete with two teeny tiny cookies and some 7-UP to complete my elementary school lunch meal, we talked to the presenter. She's going to try to get the girl's club some money. Although I am only a hanger-on, I was very excited.

We started a little late since most everyone was either late or didn't show up at all. We discussed "norms" including putting your phone on vibrate. Presenter said, "vibrate is good." Hehehe. And it just got better from there. A little while later Danielle's phone goes off and she doesn't recognize the number. A few minutes later it goes off again, so she steps out to get it. She comes back and says it's our fearless leader, who has still not yet arrived and asks her to "connect" with the presenter and ask if her if it was okay if our other colleague was late since she had gone to the main building across town. Um, no. Ask her yourself. When. you. arrive.

She ended up showing up only 30 minutes late. And proceeded to take a call during the meeting. At the table. She did say she was in a meeting and hang up, but still... What a freak. She kept getting up and stepping out of the room for long periods of time. Especially during times she needed to be there.

My other fabulous colleague showed up one hour and forty minutes late. Granted, it was rush hour and it was across town, but jeez, people! These two are my teammates. ARGH! Then, of course, we had to sit through another zillion painful minutes as people asked ridiculously stupid questions. I got up and went to the bathroom and as soon as I sat down again, I wanted to go again just so I could walk around. Danielle was suffering from the same syndrome and comes back with a Stardate magazine and says, hey, look at this. The headline is "Voyager visits Uranus." Hahahahahaha! I'm twelve and I thought that was priceless. In an added touch, the magazine was from the year I actually did turn twelve. Yes, it was that old. On a stone tablet.

There was an extended debate about what to do about unsafe conditions and most people were of the opinion that as long as you document that you told people conditions were unsafe, you're covered. Legally, maybe, but what about as a person? I like to think of myself as a professional and no one can tell me I have to do something if I know it's unsafe. If I have a class of 35+ kids, we're doing "activities" and demonstrations (state guidelines are no more than 24). I don't care what the state guidelines or curriculum says about doing "hands-on" 40% of the time. If it's unsafe, I will not endanger myself and my students. Period. Because what are they going to do if I don't? Will I be able to live with myself if I "let" them "force" me to do something stupid? Do I need to ask that question. I would like to state for the record that I stated that opinion and at least the presenter was supportive, which was nice.

So, we made it past the three hours of stupidity and were ready to jet out of there. I made sure that I walked out in a pack since I am still trying to avoid our fearless leader since we haven't yet had our "conference" that will NEVER happen if I have anything to do with it. We walk out into the parking lot where we had gotten the last few real parking spots. Everyone else parked along the side of the street. Except... can you guess? Where did she park? Directly behind and vertically so she was blocking BOTH Danielle and I. WTF?!? She was seriously, maybe a foot or two from us. We stormed back in and told her she had to move STAT. She did actually do it. We were just silent. I still can't believe it. I came home and actually drew Ryan a picture.

I told Danielle, this will be a great episode on our show. Maybe during sweeps.


Moses said...

Thanks for the post, I feel like I was there.

You gals need to carry a little digital camera around and get pics for this stuff!

You think the three of us should get together and make a "Science Teacher Gone Wild" site?

Kelli in the Mirror said...

Amazing. And they wonder why teachers say they don't get paid enough!

k said...

Yeah, I can remember dissolving into gales of immature adolescent laughter at "Uranus". And we had a teacher who tried to get around the grossness of that by pronouncing it "Urine-us". I totally thought making it sound like tee-tee was NOT an improvement in the gross word department.