Monday, November 13, 2006

Somebody's got a bad case of the Mondays

Have you guessed? There's not enough of my anxiety medicine in the world to make me calm enough to deal with things. Plus, the health insurance questionnaire I answered that said I'm an overweight alcoholic in danger of developing diabetes and skin cancer. They better give me the 50 bucks they promised in the form of a Chili's gift card so I can take my melanoma-riddled fat drunk ass and get a cheeseburger and a Margarita followed by a Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie. Grrr.

And, I swam for a whole 20 minutes this Saturday. I shared a lane with someone again. But it was better. I had no swim cap or goggles, so my eyes were burning and my hair was frying. And... I was sharing the lane at the side of the pool so I kept sklanking my elbows and knuckles against the tile. It was like the little kid who hangs onto the edge of the pool and skooches down. Yeah, I was trying to get my BMI down. Oh, and my suggested stress level, according to them, is "low." Really?

Anyway, last week we were continuing our ongoing Closet of Doom Cleanout. After we had inventored (i.e. inventorying for those of us who don't speak alien), the closets, we had to print out MSDSs for all the chemicals. First, do I need to tell you that we got multiple emails about "MSDM"s? I don't know what that is. Is that an indication of why things are so screwed up?

So, trying to teach my colleagues how to find Flinn’s MSDS look-up:

Me: “I put a link in a folder on the common…” (oh whatever)

Me: Go to Google or Yahoo and type in “Flinn Scientific MSDS”

Wait. Wait. Wait.

Them: “I don’t find it”

Me: (look and see that they have typed “”) Type. In. “Flinn. Scientific. MSDS.”

Do you see where this is going? And don’t get me started on just trying to go to their website and find it. Oh, and waiting on the printer that is apparently carving the words into stone tablets it’s so slow. I asked if it could be set to draft and I got this snort like, this is hard enough… And god forbid, you should mooooooove so I can fix it for you and make it easier for you. Nick Burns had nothing on me.

Then they kept saying, hey, this is two pages long! Yeah, mine is too! Yes. Yes, it is. It's an MSDS. It's two pages long. How has the school not burned to the grounf before now?

Oh, and who forgot her glasses so she can’t see? Since they were both using the computers in the room I said I was going to go back to my room and just save the ones I found to the common drive since I have no paper. And can't get any paper from the person who is supposed to provide it. Somehow, some was located and I walked away with nearly a ream…

I know that lies make baby Jesus cry and all, but it keeps us from having any more screaming matches.

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