Monday, March 12, 2007

Marriage Meme

My bff tagged me for this and it's cute. Unlike her and her husband, we haven't been at this too long. I do credit them for being an excellent example of a committed marriage and they encouraged me to wait for the right man. Same with Julie (who also tagged me) and Tim. I'm afraid that I stood in the front at their wedding and sobbed. Partially from happiness for them, but partially from sadness that the idiot guy I was wasting my time on never did and never would look at me with the pure adoration that I saw on Tim's face as he looked at Julie. Luckily, nobody was looking at me anyway and I started freezing the idiot out after that. (Made him more keen for a while, but eventually I just moved away)

1. Where/How did you meet? January 2001, St. David Music Room in the parish center at St. Anne's in Houston. I had just joined the church and it was my first choir practice ever. My lovely (now) friend Joanna had made me a nametag and although I normally shun them, I felt so pleased and welcomed that I slapped that puppy on my chest (For the glory of Mars, Oop!). After practice I lingered a little as lovely people introduced themselves to me. A tall, gorgeous blond came up behind me and said, "nice nametag." Yes, our first interaction was him making fun of me.

2. How long have you known each other? A little over 6 years

3. How long after you met did you start dating?: About two months. We got to know each other through choir and also the young adults group. At first it didn't even occur to me that someone like him would be interested. I also saw a flash of gold on his finger once while furtively looking. Luckily, it turned out to be his college class ring. :) After finally deciding it was time to really move on from the break-up that had occured over 2 years before, the guys I worked with encouraged me to ask out the cute guy from choir. Right before he went on a ski trip for what felt like a month, although it was probably only a week. After choir practice, I walked out with him and right as we got to the parking lot I asked him if he wanted to have coffee, he accepted and I almost fell off the curb as I tried to run away. He stopped me and gave me his card with his phone number on it...

4. How long did you date before you were engaged? We didn't have a traditional engagement, but we were married 4 years and about 1 week after our first date.

5. How long was your engagement? See above.

6. How long have you been married? Our second anniversary is in 2 weeks.

7. What is your anniversary? April 1st!

8. How many people came to your wedding reception? 100 +/-

9. What kind of cake did you serve? Beautiful, glorious Italian cream cake with toasted slivered almonds and layers soaked in amaretto. Chocolate with shaved chocolate on top and chocolate covered strawberries. Ryan didn't want to do the cake feeding thing, but he decided that feeding each other strawberries was okay. I think it pleased our guests. Heck, they waited four years for that moment, too. :)

Regarding the cakes, I picked them from a few pictures of options that the restaurant had. I went in four days before the wedding and didn't even ask Ryan if he was okay with the choices until afterward. Luckily, we have almost identical tastes in dessert. We're still trying to figure out who baked the cake. We want to go back to the restaurant for our anniversary and maybe we can get them to make us some more cake.

Another story: My bff had to leave the reception before the cake-cutting because Gillian was something like 18 months and her bedtime had come and gone. We saved a quarter of the top half for them and I only delivered it to their house the weekend before Luke was born. It was still pretty darn tasty.

10. Where was your wedding? St. Anne Catholic Church

11. What did you serve for your meal? Let's see... Since this is the south, we went with a buffet. Beef filet with some kind of sauce (horseradish?), chicken breast stuffed with prosciutto and 2 cheeses, wild green salad, linguine with pesto, and new potatoes, and of course, bread. And we ate and ate and ate. And we didn't think to ask for leftovers until they'd taken everything down so they whipped up some pasta with chicken and artichoke hearts and stuff. Delicious! We ate it with our fingers at the hotel.

12. How many people were in your bridal party? 2. My bff and Ryan's brother. My bff had the maid of honor slot for about 20 years and between the two of us, Ryan and I have four sisters and any number of other girlfriends, so it seemed easier just to stick with one attendant each. Plus, then she was able to borrow a dress from her friend, who I recently met and thanked. It made it much easier since we didn't have to coordinate or anything, although I know my poor bff would have loved a little more decision making from me. In retrospect, saying she could wear whatever was probably only a little less obnoxious than dictating everything down to her undies. :)

I still wish I could have honored my sisters without asking them to do something dumb like guest book attendant. I know they understood, but still...

13. Are you still friends with them all? Absolutely!

14. Did your spouse cry during the ceremony? I don't think so. Misty, maybe. I cried for both of us.

15. Most special moment of your wedding day? There are so many. My mama pinning the veil she wore when she married my papa on my head. Hugging my childhood friend right before I walked down the aisle. Having our friends who had been with us through lots of bad times as well as good there with us, singing. The beautiful ceremony that was mostly planned with great thought, by Ryan. Our communion hymn, which I suppose is one of those used for funerals, which I heard first at Bible studies my parents had at our home when I was a kid--I kept it a surprise for my parents for that reason. Standing on the steps in front of the church after when my bff told me, "They're ringing those bells for you." Driving to the reception in my Beetle, just being together and so thrilled that we finally did it.

16. Any funny moments? Our photographer who'd grown up at our church, dipping a handerchief into the holy water to dab at the concealer Ryan had globbed on top of the stitches from busting his head open the night before (before the rehearsal, before alcohol, not because I beat him up... :)

17. Any big disasters? Having Ryan have to go to the emergency room for stitches the night before really helped keep things in perspective.
My bff and my makeup took like an hour longer than expected so we were late for hair and getting dressed. Our first reader got stuck in traffic and didn't make it in time to do the reading, but another friend who is really special to us stepped in and did a fabulous job. I forgot to give my brother our special prayers of the faithful so he had to read the ones from Easter, which included a few that I figured would be a little controversial, but he was his normal unflappable self. The cufflinks and studs I'd ordered for Ryan didn't come in time, so on our way to the rehearsal we stopped at our mailbox place, but they still weren't there. Guess what? We had a fabulous day and we're very much married, so it worked out!

18. Where did you go on your honeymoon? We got married on Friday afternoon (since it was either that or wait until a slot opened up in 2012) and we spent our wedding night at a fancy schmancy hotel downtown. Monday morning we left for Italy. Padua, Venice, Florence, Rome, and Assisi.

19. How long were you gone? 10 days

20. If you were to do your wedding over, what would you change? Very little. Make sure our attendants and family sat with us at dinner--everyone was so polite and didn't sit at the "reserved table." We felt like we were in jr. high again and had to beg people to sit with us. All the above snafus not happening. I really can't think of a lot. Not without having lost my mind. It was my first year of teaching (at Don't Care High), I was taking two classes at night and even though I had gained 15 pounds and my dress didn't fit when it came in, I didn't completely lose my mind. There are a few things I would change, but not enough to have lost my mind.

21. What side of the bed do you sleep on? The one closest to the door. I think it's that Ryan prefers to be closest to the bathroom. Since he can't see without contacts/glasses, I can deal with that.

22. What size is your bed?: Queen. It's perfect except for when I have PMS and Ryan's elbows poke and bruise me and I would prefer sleeping in separate counties, except that I totally don't want to start the whole sleeping separately thing.

23. Greatest strength as a couple?: I'll agree with others that our shared faith is our greatest strength. We sing together and pray together and it bonds us in a way I can't describe. And when we're in a bad place, it's always good to go to church together to spend time with God and the people who love us and help us refocus on the things that matter. We're lucky to have a place where everyone knows our name, so to speak. Additionally, early on Ryan said he's always on my side and he always is. I work really hard to be the same for him.

24. Greatest challenge as a couple? Making time to really concentrate on each other. We're lucky to spend lots of time together but sometimes we're like toddlers who are playing near each other, not with each other.

25. Who literally pays the bills?: Me. Recently he told me he would rather do all the housework. ALL THE HOUSEWORK, AMERICA!! (Think Oprah) It makes me feel like I'm helping to feather our nest to take care of bills and eliminate debt, etc.

26. What is your song? I don't think we have a song. All of Nick Drake's Pink Moon reminds me of the beginning and how delicious and frightening it was. In many ways, getting "comfortable" has been such a relief and not a letdown!

27. What did you dance your first dance to? The Look of Love. Dusty Springfield, Burt Bacharach, Casino Royale soundtrack... In all its cheesy glory. Ryan's choice and I thought it was splendid. We had a whole choreographed routine.

28. Describe your wedding dress: Ruby red raw silk, two-piece, corset-back. Crystal-trimmed (aka rhinestones) with a chapel-length train.

29. What kind of flowers did you have at your wedding? We had the fabulous Easter flowers because we got married the following Friday. They were starting to get a little wilted, but not too much and they were still fabulous. And free. I could look up what flowers were in our bouquets, although I remember I gave the florist our budget and told her about my allergies and she went with that. She made a substitution at the last minute because of what was freshest and I didn't even notice. My mom wore a gardenia in her hair in honor of a tradition she and my dad have. The boys wore tiny calla lillies wrapped in a thin black ribbon. They're Ryan's favorite so in the interest of cost, the florist suggested that they would be great for the boys.

30. Are your wedding bands engraved? What do they say? My original band reads, "K + R 4-1-05". Since I ended up being allergic to the nickel in the white gold, this fall I got an "upgrade" to titanium. Neither Ryan nor my titanium bands have anything engraved in them.

My bff has the best engagement ring story ever.

Hooray! Good times. Let's see who I can tag... Tim, any of my Nestie friends who read this, and anyone else who wants to do it. Just comment and let me know so I can read it!


Kelli in the Mirror said...

Yay! That was so much fun. I loved being in your wedding. I wish, selfishly, that there were more pictures of me in that dress.

Mama Birdie said...

Kate, As parents with no jobs and our condo for sale, your Mama and Papa also consider our shared faith as most precious. Thank you for recording all this, including the photos, for all of us who love you and were so happy to see YOU happy with Ryan! Love, Mama