Monday, May 26, 2008

Final Exam Essays, Part II

I forgot to post this last week... the good, the bad, and the... bizarre...

Illegal immigration:

Illegal immigration is bad, because…
… it further raises gas prices
… you can easily hire an illegal to kill someone you hate (or maybe this is good?)
… immigrants may be carrying diseases

... the majority of crimes in the US are committed by illegal immigrants

Animal testing for medical research:

...Animals have more babies at once than humans, therefore, they should be used for medical research
...Animal rights activists wrongly think that pets and animals in zoos are exploited
...Animals have feelings and are not dead
...Animals have all the same rights as humans, except the right to carry a gun
...New medications should be tested on people who have the diseases the medication is supposed to cure because they're going to die anyway why put the animals through that unnecessary pain
...It's not right to torture animals like KFC has done

Gambling (positive or negative?):

...A gateway drug (drugs, robbery, and alcoholism)
...Gambling is a game of odds

One kid wrote his essay in Chinese. Literally.


Mary said...


I can't wait to have my own class of essay writing students! What an amusing job!

KatieBug said...

My favorite is.. Animals have all the same rights as humans, except the right to carry a gun. :)

zydeco fish said...

This is fabulous and hilarious.

AlaneM said...

I love it...your job must be fun & frustrating & tiring & full of hilarity.

Lainey-Paney said...

hmmmm.... so, how many of them got a good grade on the essay?

Alli said...

I wonder if I ever wrote stuff like that when I was in high school...

Kate said...

AlaneM-- it really is. When I don't want to throttle them I love them and they make me laugh and they challenge me. I really am lucky to have this gig.

Lainey-- the rubric for this one was actually pretty easy--all they had to do was kind of back up their position. And write an intro and conclusion. I did have some kids bomb that, though.

Alli, even on your worst day I am sure that you didn't write anything that bad. Or maybe that's what I'm telling myself about what I was writing back then... ((shudder))

Lawfrog said...

WOW! At least there is some humor in the grading process, but there also must be a lot of tears with answers like that. LOL!