Friday, May 09, 2008

It's the most wonderful time of the year

Not just the tap-tap-tapping on a water bottle drilling into my head with the migraine, but I am getting even crabbier than normal...

Shall we talk about...

The kid whose head almost exploded when he learned that his final exam essay is the same day as International Senior Skip Day when nations everywhere grind to a screeching halt. I had moans and groans from other kids, which I had expected, but this kid got hostile. He was shouting at me and waving his hands. I was calmer in response, but only in comparison. I didn't actually say he could suck it, although I was tempted. I did the whole "it's your choice" spiel, because honestly, that's all it is. His CHOICE. Plus, the stupid essay is only worth 25% of 25% of their semester grade. Do that math. And then Chill. Out.

The kid who said he needed to take some excuse notes to the office. And his friend needed to go with him and vouch for him. Look at me with your bloodshot eyes: Hahaha. Haha. Ha. NO.

Parents who call me and want to talk about why Johnny is doing so poorly in class. In May? They call me in MAY? Maybe it's because your child has been passed out cold on his desk since last August and I actually had to call the nurse to check on him at least once? Maybe because he XEROXED someone else's research paper and said it was his? Or maybe because he has so many absences that I'm not sure that I could pick him out of a lineup?

I tell a girl to get her hands off the kid sitting behind her. She glares at me and spits back, "I wasn't touching him. I was turning the page of his book!" Riiiight, that makes sense. Seriously, you being a part of an in-class cuddle pile is less disturbing than you turning someone else's book pages. Be a doll and just turn around, put your bum in your chair, and keep your hands to yourself.

Did I mention that I teach all seniors? In a few weeks, these people will be wandering the streets loose! Well, more than they do now. Lock your doors, people. LOCK THEM.

And... if I don't have my own room next year and I have to spend another year with a cart and the elevator and the kids in the hall (Ms. T-8, kids-0), I will commit murder. I will. I have a cushy job, at a cushy school and no one bothers me, there are no laptops being thrown during fights, cell phones being stolen, guns being brought to class (there was that stabbing a while back) but... I want to not always have to ask permission to move or leave anything. And I just want to not have to run to every class.

Ah well. At least it's not just me.


shoeaddict said...

Awww, Ms.T, you aren't cool about skip day?

No seriously, I could never be a teacher because I am mean and moody. I could not handle it without cursing and yelling.

Kate said...

It's not so much that I'm uncool as there are two days I can give the essays and I can't be there on one day because it's the only time the specialist can see me. I just got bitchy because the kid started shouting at me in an ugly way. As long as they don't lose credit because of the absence, I could care less. And seriously, it's only worth 6% of their semester grade. =)

I'm like you-- except for the cursing. Most of the time. Out loud. I did mutter WTF under my breath when I got hit in the head by a piece of pencil lead the other day. It was an accident and only one kid heard me. The kid who did it was too busy being horrified that he hit me.

Mary said...

first off.... your gramma was 105! Wow! I love her and I don't have a clue who she was!

I am kinda scared that your students will walk among the real people of the world. Yikes! My husband says similar things about his students. Same stories, really. One of his students got caught with cocaine in her backpack at school. Duh! Poof, she's gone. A couple of boys just got caught surfing google images and youtube for porn and naked girls. Yup. on a school computer. Skipping the final essay is actually not as dumb as it sounds - there are bigger idiots in school!

My dd will be a senior next year. I'm afraid. Very afraid. I just hope her grades will be good enough that she can participate in all the senior skipping activities and such. She'll probably need to sleep in class. I want her to have fun fun fun and not be prepared for the real world. Apparently that is the new parenting trend. And, I'm trendy! I am!

Best of luck surviving to the end. It's almost over!