Thursday, July 08, 2010

The I-Word, Part Deux

So now what?

I went back to the doc and she gave me two sheets of pictures. Inside, all is better than well. It was almost depressing. As in, I am officially "unexplained infertility." Joy.

I have a hundred "explanations" and have done a zillion things--I quit drinking for months, exercise but not "too much," I drink pomegranate juice, take vitamins, tried to limit meds, take synthroid, took metformin for a while, etc. etc. etc.

For the last year I have been using a little machine that analyzes pee sticks. I also use ovulation predictor sticks and don't forget the pregnancy tests at the end. Lots of pee. Lots of sticks.

As if that isn't enough, I've been tracking my BBT for 31 cycles using Subtract the three we didn't, well, try because one of us was unwell and it's still a depressingly large number. Every single morning, day after day, month after month. It's also frustrating because I don't get up at the same time on weekends. I can set my alarm for earlier on Sunday and then go back to sleep, but what about Saturdays when I get up 2 hours earlier to go running?

Since my Cadillac Escalade insurance plan that I pay dearly for will likely run out in a few months thanks to cost-cutting at my employers' (don't get me started on the things they'll keep paying for and I pay A LOT for it, too. Much more than they do. A nice-car car-payment each month.) I need to get on the ball. I have an appointment with the infertility specialist in a few weeks. They are the same ones who tested Ryan more than a few months back.*

Interesting note: I have been told that taking hormones is a crap-shoot and might make my emotions crazy and might make them chill. I have been told this by someone who knows about emotions. A professional.

All that said, I am very blessed. I am happy with my life. It's a good life. I can lie on the couch all day and with the exception of a canine who needs minimal maintenance, that's okay. Having a baby is hard and changes everything, so I should be glad that life is relatively easy now. Ryan is lovely and he is more than enough. But. BUT.

* I have refrained from "schooling" helpful people who tell me that I need to make sure that Ryan is checked. Really? REALLY?!? 50% of the problem could possibly come from him? I am nice and thank them and say, they checked him FIRST because, well, it's pretty easy. And cheap. And doesn't involves drugs and cutting. And also, I took a health class and read Our Bodies, Ourselves. Maybe it's more a comment on the type of health education we have that people might assume that a normally functioning (otherwise), educated adult like me might not know that.

So, we shall see.


Anonymous said...

I think the first lady here has the answer for you (might be NSFW, depending on your work):

That's all I got. Humor. Sucks.

Kate said...

Tim, that was just what the doctor ordered. Thank you! I love you!

Loni said...

That website is hilarious!

And also, I am so glad you can see the blessings in your life.

I have prayed for you and Ryan.

Barb said...

Went through this myself with secondary infertility ~ we now have two adopted children who are the loves of our lives. Never rule out any possibility! Wishing you all the best!

Lainey-Paney said...

you are definitely going to have to come up with some one-liners to quiet those who run at the mouth...

"Oh Sh*t! Why didn't I think of that!?"
"They should check Ryan, or the guys I've been scr*wing???... because I really wasn't sure we could afford to have ALL of them tested." {ok, your hubby may not like that come-back, but it's guaranteed to shut someone up!}

Kate said...

Sorry I didn't respond, everyone. Gmail issues. Thanks Lainey-Painey--that made me laugh so hard I hurt. And Ryan would totally have gotten a kick out of that!