You all know what a giant anxious freak I can be and pregnancy has only made it worse. I do things to try to keep things in perspective, but sometimes I am thwarted in my plans to attempt to be a sane, rational human. Plus, I realize that I have a lifetime of worry and fear if I let myself. After all, at least now I always know where he is, right? Eventually he's going to have a driver's license! Eek! (Although his daddy already said he's not getting a car until he's 18 because daddy did and had no business driving...)
Anyway... something specific set this off. In addition to the ultrasound where we saw Little Man and his boy parts and his arms and legs and all of that, he was hiding his heart. Like I said before, we're going back for further tests and I'm feeling surprisingly confident about that. Just a hunch.
The thing I wasn't prepared for was the position of his placenta. Not ideal, shall we say. There's a scary term for it that I'm not going to put here lest someone trolling the internet finds it in a search and feels the need to terrify me. My doc said she's not concerned at this point. Possibly some minor spotting and the ol' RhoGAM shot, but I need that soon anyway. In most cases, it moves out of the way and it's not a big deal. In a few months, it's a BIGDAMNDEAL, but we're not to that point. And did I mention that it usually moves?
Once home, I decided to check out the BabyCenter message board for people due the same month as I am (because I hate myself, my blood pressure was low, and...) and someone had posted about this condition. She asked if anyone had been diagnosed and it meant an early c-section. She didn't say that she had it and looked like not only did she not have it, she was only about three months along (so why on this board?) and had just lost her baby. I was very sad for her, but wondered why she was posting "information" about a scary topic that couldn't have caused her loss. Anyway, we won't get into the psychology there.
On that page, the website posted helpful "related topics," one of which was this condition. It spent one paragraph addressing what my doctor said and what is the experience of 90+% of women at this point. It spent the rest of three pages talking about catastrophic outcomes, c-sections at 26 weeks, bed rest for months, hemorrhages before, during, and after labor... I am usually better about reading things on the internet, but that TOTALLY freaked me out.
I ended up pulling out my Our Bodies, Ourselves pregnancy book, with all of its scary pictures and information and they were pretty calm about it. They said the same as my doc and had a small separate section about what can happen later in pregnancy if it doesn't "fix" itself. Calm, matter of fact, here are the facts, educate yourself, but DANG, is it necessary to tell the absolutely worst case scenario known to modern science?
So, hopefully when I go back for the ultrasound in a few weeks the ol' thing will have moved "out the way," as Ryan says. In the meantime, what the heck is the point of worrying about it? I can't do anything about it. Worrying won't help. Right now I am trying to focus some of my nervous energy into putting together the nursery (or as much as I can before daddy puts in baby's new cork floor) in case I should be put on bed rest. Besides bleeding to death, obviously, this is my second major concern. As much as I want my kid to be healthy, I also like getting paid. Plus, as lazy as I am, being confined drives me bonkers.
Ah well, whatever it takes to get this baby cooked for the optimum amount of time, right? Truly.
In the meantime, the internet (aka baby sites and their "Christmas Foods That Will Kill You and Your Baby" * emails) are dead to me. I know enough about this condition, so no more "research" and I will. not. stress. about this. Period.
In the meantime, Mr. Man has been kicking me more and more. Too bad he can't kick the stupid thing up and away, right? Seriously, though, it's great to feel him moving. And as much as I say I can't wait to meet him, I can and I WILL.
* only a slight paraphrase. Seriously, they send these alarmist emails a few times a week. Unsubscribe.