16wk appt: +6lbs overall
20wk appt: +6lbs overall (odd since I looked a lot bigger--doc and I both suspect this number was off)
24wk appt: +21lbs overall
OMG, I was freaking out! How did I gain 15 pounds in a month?!?
I haven't been pigging out or anything and I am still exercising--maybe a little less. My jeans are starting to get a tiny bit tighter, but otherwise, I am all boobs and belly. Mostly belly. GIANT belly. Doc said baby's probably going through a growth spurt or something and as long as I'm eating healthy not to worry.
My rational brain, however, is on vacation and my pregnancy hormone-addled brain is in residence. All my food/eating disordered thoughts are back. I am replaying all of the stupid/uber-helpful comments I've heard:
- I am bigger than so-and-so who is farther along than me... with twins!
- Am I sure that there's only one in there?
- Don't gain more than 20 lbs total (said by a 70+ year old woman)
- Gaining weight will have dire consequences for labor, etc.
- I'll never lose it and Ryan will leave me (I guarantee his response to this would be "That sounds like me.") and most of all
- "You are SO BIG!"
And the funny thing is that my immediate response is to smash some cupcakes into my face. After spending 4 hours at the hospital and doc's office, I went to Super Target to soothe myself and bought a beautiful deep blue new maternity sweater. Of course, I bought a larger size than before since the regular one fit really nicely and I know that little boy is just going to grow more. It was just hard today. I also thought about trying on a size larger in jeans since my butt falls out every time I bend down, but mine still work okay and I couldn't take that.
I also swung by the bakery section and bought a packet of tiny chocolate chip cookies with frosting in the middle. I ate one and it was really disappointing. I ate another just in case the first one was a fluke. Nope. I then drove to La Madeleine where I threw them into the trash and ate a delicious lunch that was in NO WAY low fat/calorie, but which I enjoyed--unlike the stupid cookies.
At any rate, I am so annoyed. I thought that I was past this and that at least being pregnant I could finally relax and just let this be about the baby. I know that I am lucky to even have this "problem." I know that I am healthy and happy and in a few months I will have a baby. A baby. A little dude. Life is good. There are worse things than weight gain!