Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Evaluating Buddy: It's Hard to be a Kid

Buddy has never been good with change--more so than average, I think. Preschool "graduation" last spring was tough. After that his friends started to scatter. Kindergarten was just across the street from day care and around the corner from home so that helped. A little. The first week was a dream, but after that was rough. Rough.

First day of school:


Kindergarten has been hard for him. He's in a class of 40 kids (kindergarten, preK-4, and preK-3) with two teachers and two aides. He loves everyone and everyone seems to love him. I think that sometimes he gets lost and often in between activities he gets lost and wanders and then gets into trouble. He has already been to the principal's office a few times for fighting. It's exhausting trying to keep up.

For a while he was sitting listlessly on the rug at school, unresponsive. He was crying and begging to stay home, suffering from mysterious, imaginary ailments. He did have growing pains (just below both knees since he grew 3/4in. in a month). Then his test scores were lower than we expected. I think our concern is 98% our egos and 2% lack of communication from the school. They say he's doing okay and from what we can see, he is. I don't get it.

At the suggestion of his pediatrician he is being evaluated for ADHD or whatever. I don't want to be one of those parents who wants a label for something that is really Five-Year-Old-Only-Child Syndrome. On the other hand, his doctor is super old school and conservative. If she thinks something might be there it's worth pursuing. He is being evaluated by the school district and we have already filled out a thousand forms and we're meeting with someone later this week while various adults at his school fill out forms as well.

In addition to the school district he going to see the behavioral people at Texas Children's Hospital where he's been seen since he was barely 24 hours old. Apparently, being a preemie and having a heart condition can lead to some crossed wiring (it's a real medical term, haha). While I am open to medication if it is necessary, I would like it to be far down on the list of solutions. Additionally, he does need help with his behavior. Buddy is generally sunny and delightful, but he has his times of being unable to deal with change or frustration. He gets angry and tries to break things. We're working on that. Hopefully they can help with that, too.

I talked to someone today about how to prepare him for tomorrow and it sounds like it will just be lots of "playing" from his perspective. I'm not sure if she'll talk to us since we filled out those zillion pages of forms.  We shall see.

I like to think that I always had compassion for parents of "special" kids, but this is a different perspective for me. It's not pleasant. I am a ball of nerves. I have been sniping at Ryan in a way I haven't since Buddy was first born and we were adjusting to our new roles as I was fighting severe postpartum depression. I have a hair trigger and I hate that I seem to always assume the worst. I also hate that he's going through this, too, and I should be more supportive like he is. We'll get through this and help Buddy.

It's hard to be a kid.

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