Katie-Kat World

A serious case of wait and see

2011-11-14T19:29:00.001-06:00

We took Little Buddy to the ENT today and, ironically, the doctor had lost his voice. He was kind and after asking lots of questions and listening to LB he suggested putting a scope down LB's nose down to his vocal chords. Sure. We figured they'd do that--just not that they'd do it today. So, a syringe of numbing stuff down one nostril and we were off (crying).

In the room across the hall they prepped him and Ryan held LB on his lap while the nurse held his head. I held one of his feet while the doctor put the scope down. As you can imagine, LB started to scream. And then the doc had to do it again. Anyway. He showed us on the tape and then had a picture for comparison.

It's called laryngomalacia. It's a big fancy word for his airway is not totally open... and he makes a lot of noise and... he should grow out of it. Surgery is a possibility, but usually only in cases where the child has a "failure to thrive." Our child is like Clifford the Big Red Dog, so clearly that's not the issue.

So, meds for reflux for a month to see if that helps. Back to the doc in a month. Wait and see.

Thankful that surgery isn't something they're suggesting and strangely glad that it probably wasn't due to the breathing tube. Just a this is our quirky baby thing.

2011-11-05T15:52:00.000-05:00

I love Winnie the Pooh and this has to be the cutest version ever. His voice is just darling.

Part 2:

Part 3:

Little Buddy is Six Months!

2011-10-20T20:45:00.001-05:00

10/20/11

18 lb 13 oz. (86th %ile)

29 in. (97th %ile)

Even his doctor told him to "act his age"! He's huge, but he's right on track for his development. Even I sometimes expect more of him since he looks like he's twice his age.

He is the most delightful child. He smiles and laughs and giggles. He loves to "read" books and loves it when I sing the "Hush Little Baby" version that I found (all about nature and love and snuggling).

He continues to take his heart medicine and will have a new doctor next time because the doctor who saved his life got a job at another university.

He cut two teeth about a week ago. The bottom front two. He was massively drooly, but then, he's been like that for months now. It didn't seem to hurt him much. I don't even think that I can hope to have this be how it goes with him.

He has been having trouble falling asleep at night, which has all of us unhappy. We got lots of advice and we'll see how things go. Hopefully he'll go back to sleeping through the night.

He's also on his first round of antibiotics due to an ear infection. He has to take it for another week, but he's already feeling better.

Six months ago was the best and worst day of my life. I am so lucky to have this sweet little boy in my life. He just needs to SLOW DOWN.

5 Months

2011-10-01T10:55:00.000-05:00

September 20, 2011

Four Months

2011-09-01T16:10:00.001-05:00

8/20/11:

At his 4-month appt. he got another round of shots (so much sadness as I held him and his little face turned red with pain and anger) and the following measurements:

Height: 26.75" (91st %ile)
Weight: 15 lb 14 oz. (58th %ile)
Head: 17" (64th %ile)

He's very, very tall. Now we're looking for new car seats because he's going to outgrow his soon and Babies R Us is doing a trade-in now. We're trying to put off the giant, expensive convertible seat as long as possible.

Going Back

2011-08-17T18:27:00.000-05:00

I went back to work on Monday and it was really, really hard. Ryan and I did tons of research, visited a few places and found one that fit our needs (and our budget--yikes!). The center we chose is bright and clean and loving. We both dropped Little Buddy off on Monday. And we both cried.

I still cry a little each day. I'll make it a while and then I want to see him. It's like I was used to him napping and then he'd wake up and play with me. I'm still looking into having him in the corner while I teach...

Just kidding, of course. He needs to be around other kids for all kinds of reasons from gaining immunity (getting sick) to learning how to share and not being the center of attention and... I just want to snuggle him.

I suppose considering how much trouble we had at the beginning and how bonding was difficult, this is a good sign.

Little Buddy, of course, seems to be taking to daycare. He's been crabby the past two days, but I think that's his ongoing gas/constipation issues. I know that you wanted to know. Anyway, poor monkey.

Cardiology Report

2011-08-08T20:43:00.001-05:00

7/27: We went to the children's hospital to meet with Little Buddy's cardiologist. We had a hard time with the echocardiogram. Basically, it's a specialized ultrasound of the heart. Even though they warm the gel, you can imagine, this is not the most favorite activity of any baby, even one who's had more than his fair share. About halfway through, LB lost his... composure. They kept telling me they couldn't continue if he was crying (duh). I tried the Wubbanub with no success. Finally, she and the trainee tech quit asking me what was wrong and left so I could calm him. I sang and snuggled and cuddled and finally he fell asleep in my arms. The tech came back and said I could hold him and they would do it that way. Next time I'll ask if we can start with that. All in all, it wasn't a terrible experience.

After that he had an ECG/EKG (the one with about 15 million sensors attached to his chest). He did better with this one, but did just what he did in the hospital--fidget and twist and bat at them to remove them.

After that we met with the doctor. He just has a hard time seeing anything significant that's still wrong with Little Buddy's heart. He's going to back in 6 months and they're probably going to do a Holter monitor and then it will be every few years after that. I still cry thinking about that. Our healthy boy.

Speaking of healthy boys, at that appointment they measured him and he was:

25.5 inches
13.9 pounds

Three Months

2011-08-08T20:29:00.001-05:00

7/20: Little Buddy is getting taller and although he's still a round little baby he's not quite the chublin he was before. He can hold up his head for longer periods of time and still hates tummy time. He still usually just flips himself onto his back. He's still working on flipping from his back to his tummy and usually it's all he does when you put him on his back--even in bed. He will sometimes spin around almost 360° at night.

Look at those long legs:

Propped up and smiling a little

I heart Sephora

2011-07-05T15:08:00.000-05:00

I love, love, love Sephora. I love that you can try everything and they're not crazy pushy like at department stores.

I had two gift cards and I finally went in and spent them...

Lips...

I wanted to get away from all of the shimmery pinks that I've been wearing like it's still the mid sixties. I thought about brown, but was steered away from it by one of the salespeople. You can't wear brown lip color with navy? Anyway, I love plum and while it's still in the pink family, it's darker, but still wearable during the day (I think)

Fresh Sugar Plum Lip Treatment SPF 15

Eyes...
Makeup Forever Aqua Eyes eyeliner/eyeshadow pencil (black purple)

Makeup Forever Aqua Smoky Lash (Waterproof Extra Black) Mascara

Clinique Bottom lash mascara

Sephora Duo Eyeshadow in gorgeous pink (shimmering mauve pink/shimmering smoky plum)

Yes, there's a purple theme. I like it. It's different than all of my brown eyeshadows and it tends to bring out the little bit of green that I have in my (brown) eyes.

Fragrance:
Stella McCartney Stella (roll-on, which reminds me of putting on perfume when I was a kid)

I also got a small bottle of philosophy vanilla birthday cake shampoo, shower gel, and bubble bath because it was just my birthday and I'm a member of their loyalty program. And yes, it smells so good I want to eat it!

So, fun, fun, fun!!!

Two Months

2011-07-05T06:33:00.001-05:00

6/20. Little Buddy is much more alert and starting to smile at us a little. It is the best thing ever. BEST.

One month

2011-06-26T21:04:00.000-05:00

5/20. Looking more alert.

The Lovely Leslie

2011-06-26T10:35:00.001-05:00

A friend of mine from my running group now has a blog. I met her in my running group (or former, or whatever since I am on a break until I'm healed) and she is as sweet as pie.

Check out her new blog:

Eat. Pray. Love. Run.

Little Buddy is home!

2011-06-26T10:08:00.002-05:00

I have been shamefully neglecting my blog! Little Buddy was released from the hospital on May 5th. As we drove away from the hospital in the blinding sunshine, with our babe finally in the car seat we were thrilled--and terrified. I suppose most parents experience that. Our situation made us extra nervous and we were thinking we might actually miss some of the machines a little. At least we could see on a monitor that his heart was still beating and his breathing rate was okay. Of course, that meant fewer alarms squealing. So, Ryan went out and bought an Angelcare monitor that has given us peace of mind. At first it went off all the time, but after a day or two Ryan figured out what to do (put a piece of plywood under the sensor which is under his mattress in the Pack and Play bassinet.

Coming home in his adorable outfit provided by his fashionista auntie

Now what?

Holding my baby at home the first night

Lying width-wise in his bassinet the first night because he was so tiny

Our second day at home. Lying on Daddy's chest.

My Boy!!

2011-04-27T17:33:00.013-05:00

Two weeks ago, I was about 36 weeks along and my doctor sent me for a growth scan ultrasound. She was concerned because I was measuring huge and it was likely that I had extra fluid.

The ultrasound showed that the baby was 10lbs 7oz. The radiologist came in and said that a more conservative estimate was 9-10lbs. At 36 weeks. Holy cow. They also saw some thickening in his heart. Immediately after the ultrasound, I went to see my doc. Instead of taking the results as I normally do, the radiologist called my doc. She was concerned that I had too much fluid and the thing about his heart. She told me I was going to need to go to the children's hospital for a fetal echo.

On Monday morning Ryan and I went to the hospital for the echo. They spent about 45 minutes measuring and observing. We could see his heart fluttering like crazy. Afterward, the doctor called us in to his office and explained that the baby had an arrhythmia and his recommendation based on how far along he was and the fact that he didn't yet show signs of other body systems showing distress... was to deliver him that week. My doctor called me a few hours later and said that they wanted me to come in to the hospital for observation and steroid shots and that I was scheduled for a c-section on Weds. at 1PM.

I cried. I cried and cried and cried and cried. The dog came and licked my face. And I cried. So much for no c-section. So much for carrying my baby to term. So much for being ready... When I went to the hospital, it was mostly just boring. They hooked me up to the fetal monitor and it was going nuts. It kept freaking out because of the arrhythmia and then it would think that the sensors had fallen off. Later, the doc called me and she said one of the reasons we shouldn't attempt a v-birth was because we'd never know how much distress the baby was in. So, I accepted that. Not happily, but at that point it was about what the baby needed.

On Monday night we went to Target and got the few remaining "essentials" like the Pack 'n Play with the bassinet where the baby would sleep right away and some wipes. Otherwise, we had diapers and some onesies and were figuring the hospital would send us away with a pile of formula. As for the nursery, we figured we'd get to that later.

The next day I went to school to collect any last papers for grading and put away all valuables. Then it was back to the hospital for more of the same. For dinner we went out for sushi. I figured that at that point, I was probably pretty safe. After all, I was going to have the baby the next day!

Weds. we got up early so I could eat breakfast (at 4:30AM) before they made me quit eating 8hrs before. I also had to quit drinking and that was MISERABLE. I was so thirsty!

Look at that giant belly!

I went in for all of the pre-op fun and by the time I got into the OR I was terrified. Like, I wanted to cry I was so scared. Ryan didn't come in until my doc was about to start cutting. She warned them that there was a lot of fluid and a very big baby and for me to expect a great deal of pressure in my chest and then about 45 seconds later, they pulled him out and showed us. Holy mackerel, he was big! They took him off to clean him and Ryan said to me, "He's not crying." In fact, he only gave one feeble cry the entire time we were in the OR. After that, we got to hold him. I made sure that Ryan got to hold him, too. Overall, we must have had him for 90 seconds total before they took him back for more testing and then off to the NICU.

We were stunned. Our huge son was snatched away from us. So, for the record:

Babykins (Email me and I'll tell you his name--I haven't decided how much info I'll give about him)
10 pounds, 1 ounce
20 inches
Just shy of 37 weeks

I spent the next day recovering from the c-section, unable to see my baby. Ryan kept coming down to give me updates. The next morning he wheeled me to the NICU to see our baby and it was awful. I was so drugged I could barely stay awake and my baby had his head in a clear plastic shield with oxygen and he was panting. At one point he opened his eyes and saw both of us and was startled. I know that preemies are like that, but I started to cry. After a little while, Ryan took me back to my bed so I could sleep.

A little later, the docs came back and said that he was being transferred to the children's hospital. This was in no way a surprise, but it was still emotional. Ryan was a huge mess, crying and one of the doctors was telling him he'd have to drive and follow the ambulance and Ryan said he almost punched him. Luckily, one of the transfer team said that he could ride in the ambulance. They wheeled the little mobile incubator in and my family got to see him for the first time. Aside from having to push my mother aside, I got to say not-goodbye to him. And then he was gone and Ryan was gone.

My family and a few friends kept me company and kept my mind off things the next four days. Even the nurses were very kind and with maybe two exceptions, they never asked about the baby--if I mentioned him they'd say that they'd heard. It made it easier not to have to explain to people.

On Sunday, I finally, got to be with my son. I was feeling rotten, in pain, and looking about 5 months pregnant, but it was hard to care about that. A little while after I got there, they took out his breathing tube. Happiness!

After a few days we got transferred down to the regular NICU. Now that his heart has mostly healed, they are dealing with more run-of-the-mill preemie concerns like his lungs which have fluid in them and jaundice and that sort of thing. They're dealing with all of this while still making sure that his heart is behaving itself. They haven't said when and we're thinking we're still talking about weeks, but they have used the word "home" down here. They also let us change his diapers and we finally got to hold him...

Today I got to give him his very first bottle.

What dignity?

2011-04-06T19:57:00.004-05:00

So, I knew it was going to happen. Pregnant teacher, two potties* down the hall which she can visit only between classes or on conference period. I can leave class a little early or be late, but I knew some day...

Today I ate lunch and then went down to the library for 5th period. I was having a good discussion with a colleague and didn't run away exactly when the bell rang. There were two kids waiting for the elevator, one in a wheelchair, one with a wheelie bag. I decided to take my chances on the stairs (I have no trouble walking them, but not unlike home with the three stories and a dog trying to trip me, I worry about falling).

I got downstairs and the Life Skills kids were in line/using the faculty restrooms. They have every right, but argh, can't they do it after the bell? So, I ran down to my room and unlocked the door. At this point, walking hurts. Heck, standing hurts.

I ran back to the bathroom and nothing had changed. I ran to the girls' restroom and there were 4-5 girls in line. Since they have to get tardy passes and I don't, I didn't play my Pregnant Teacher Card. Plus, the girls said I really, really didn't want to use that bathroom. I put my knees together and said dramatically and for effect, "I'm going to pee in my pants!" And ran upstairs.

Luckily, the scary 2nd floor faculty restroom, which I normally avoid, was available. I did my business and then came downstairs and got to class, oh, five minutes late. Sorry, class.

Although I was desperate to pee, I did think the whole thing was funny. I also enjoyed the fact that about 3 of the girls in the restroom were my students and we got a chuckle out of my predicament. Further proving my mother right when she says that many, many bonding experiences as women happen in the restroom.

*The women's restroom is a little scary, but we have a cheap little laminate "vanity" (I use that term loosely) with a decentish sink. I bring in nice soap since I can't handle washing my hands with school soap--if there is any--six times a day. Right next door is the men's bathroom. Besides having to touch the seat to pull it down (ewwww!), the lighting is messed up, so it's always dark, the paint is dark rather than light gray, and the sink is this utilitarian porcelain thing attached to the wall. I call it the prison bathroom. Of course, I sometimes use it, but I'll wait for the other one.

"Advice"

2011-03-24T18:35:00.002-05:00

I got an email today with some helpful advice for this stage of pregnancy. See what you think about it.

To avoid getting up 98 times in the night, limit your liquid intake in the evening before bed.

Oh, wow! I hadn't thought of that! In fact, my parents didn't teach me that sometime in the mid- to late-70's.

Now, as far as being 33 weeks pregnant, I think the suggestion might include a means of relocating baby to somewhere other than on top of my bladder. Or not having a need to drink lots of water. Seriously, sometimes I wake up just to drink water.

Anyway, I've been chuckling about this all day. It just seemed like such useless advice.

Update

2011-03-22T18:12:00.004-05:00

I went for my 32 week appt last Weds. I was a good girl and asked the nurse not to tell me my weight, although it's the balance kind so I could hear that I'd hopped up to another 50lb. increment (I was on the edge before), so I have a decent idea what it is. I'm trying not to think about it.

My blood pressure was high, which was weird since my blood pressure is usually low--before and thus far during this pregnancy.

The nurse used the doppler machine to hear Little Boy's heartbeat and of course he was being ornery. She had asked if he was moving around and sure enough as she was trying to do her test, the knucklehead kicked her hard a few times.

After that, the doc came in and checked my measurements and said that she is concerned that I am developing toxemia. I nodded and said, okay, because, really?!? I feel great, what the heck? But my feet and hands were swollen, my blood pressure was high, there was a small amount of protein in my urine, and it sounded like I'd gained more weight than expected. She said that she thinks this will progress until it becomes necessary to induce labor early.

I asked her what she meant by coming "early" and she said April (vs. my official due date of My 13th). This is all conjecture, but he could still be considered "full term" and she said he is measuring BIG. I didn't ask her to quantify that since I know it's an estimate anyway. It is still reassuring in a way.

I did ask what I/we/she could do and her answer was REST. At first she said just work as long as I sat and put my feet up as much as possible. When she found out that it was Spring Break she said I needed to be a couch commando until I went back to work. It was hard at first, especially since I feel pretty good. I still have to keep telling myself that I am doing this to keep Baby "Georgie" out of the NICU. It's also dangerous for me, but I'm trying not to think about that.

So, I went back to work yesterday and it's hard. I'm used to running up and down the stairs and all over the school. I'll admit that I went up to the 2nd floor to get some copies made and see some people. I knew that I might be able to get a key for the elevator, but it freaks me out and that just opens up all kinds of places where I shouldn't go. So far it's going okay. Sometimes my hands swell a little and sometimes my feet, but neither very much.

I go back to the doc next Weds. so we'll see how things are then. I am feeling optimistic, but I just have a feeling that I'm going to be on full-on bed rest eventually. I feel like I've made peace with that. We'll be okay. We'll be okay for money. My classes will be well cared for. I'll still have to assign work and grade papers so that will keep me from going completely bonkers at home. I'll enjoy sitting on the couch while I can. And finally, as long as this little boy is born safely and I make it through okay, too, we're all good. Nothing else matters.

In other news, Ryan finished the cork flooring in the baby's room. He still has to put back on baseboards and touch up paint, etc. but it looks amazing. It's already quieter and cleaner (the stained concrete was impossible to clean). And once he had the floor in place, Ryan put together the crib that his family got us.

Georgie Containment Unit? Check!

Happy news!

2011-01-17T20:39:00.003-06:00

The happiness today was that

1. My placenta has moved out of the way, is no longer an issue, and YEAH!!

2. The baby's heart, which we were worried about because of my meds and Ryan's bicuspid valve... is FINE. PERFECT.

Here he is, sucking his thumb. Ryan barked at him, "take your hands out of your mouth!" I nearly peed myself laughing.

Yes, I realize that I should really not be complaining about anything. Ever. I am so blessed. So Blessed.

Holy Weight Gain, Batman!

2011-01-17T17:50:00.010-06:00

I went for a followup ultrasound and 24 week appt. today (my due date is somewhere between May 11-13, so measuring weeks is a general thing. Using May 12th, I am 23 weeks, 4 days. For what that's worth). Baby is measuring a week ahead (which we also discussed previously and means not a whole lots) and is healthy in every way they measured. Doc said I look great, happy I'm so healthy, baby's so healthy. I asked her about my weight:

16wk appt: +6lbs overall

20wk appt: +6lbs overall (odd since I looked a lot bigger--doc and I both suspect this number was off)

24wk appt: +21lbs overall

OMG, I was freaking out! How did I gain 15 pounds in a month?!?

16 weeks

20 weeks

23 weeks

I haven't been pigging out or anything and I am still exercising--maybe a little less. My jeans are starting to get a tiny bit tighter, but otherwise, I am all boobs and belly. Mostly belly. GIANT belly. Doc said baby's probably going through a growth spurt or something and as long as I'm eating healthy not to worry.

My rational brain, however, is on vacation and my pregnancy hormone-addled brain is in residence. All my food/eating disordered thoughts are back. I am replaying all of the stupid/uber-helpful comments I've heard:

I am bigger than so-and-so who is farther along than me... with twins!
Am I sure that there's only one in there?
Don't gain more than 20 lbs total (said by a 70+ year old woman)
Gaining weight will have dire consequences for labor, etc.
I'll never lose it and Ryan will leave me (I guarantee his response to this would be "That sounds like me.") and most of all
"You are SO BIG!"

And the funny thing is that my immediate response is to smash some cupcakes into my face. After spending 4 hours at the hospital and doc's office, I went to Super Target to soothe myself and bought a beautiful deep blue new maternity sweater. Of course, I bought a larger size than before since the regular one fit really nicely and I know that little boy is just going to grow more. It was just hard today. I also thought about trying on a size larger in jeans since my butt falls out every time I bend down, but mine still work okay and I couldn't take that.

I also swung by the bakery section and bought a packet of tiny chocolate chip cookies with frosting in the middle. I ate one and it was really disappointing. I ate another just in case the first one was a fluke. Nope. I then drove to La Madeleine where I threw them into the trash and ate a delicious lunch that was in NO WAY low fat/calorie, but which I enjoyed--unlike the stupid cookies.

At any rate, I am so annoyed. I thought that I was past this and that at least being pregnant I could finally relax and just let this be about the baby. I know that I am lucky to even have this "problem." I know that I am healthy and happy and in a few months I will have a baby. A baby. A little dude. Life is good. There are worse things than weight gain!

Beautiful coincidence

2011-01-04T20:48:00.003-06:00

Yesterday, I was planning this semester and using my old calendar, changing the dates, moving activities, etc. Here's what I realized.

Last year, on Friday, May 14th, I had my "procedure."

This year, on Friday, May 13th, our baby is officially due.

Will he come on that day? Unlikely, but the timing still makes me smile.

2011 Reading List

2011-01-01T19:34:00.004-06:00

5. Pygmalion, George Bernard Shaw
4. The Autobiography of Malcolm X as told to Alex Haley
3. Chardonay isn't for Sippy Cups
2. Breakfast at Tiffany's, a Short Novel and Three Stories, Truman Capote
1. The Mockingbirds, Daisy Whitney. A fantastic young adult book!

On deck:
A Vintage Affair
Naptime is the New Happy Hour
Introduction to Aristotle
Beowulf
The Canterbury Tales
Macbeth

There would be a whole lot more, but I'm not counting all of the kids' books I've been reading to Little Buddy.

Protect us from all anxiety

2010-12-26T12:44:00.005-06:00

You all know what a giant anxious freak I can be and pregnancy has only made it worse. I do things to try to keep things in perspective, but sometimes I am thwarted in my plans to attempt to be a sane, rational human. Plus, I realize that I have a lifetime of worry and fear if I let myself. After all, at least now I always know where he is, right? Eventually he's going to have a driver's license! Eek! (Although his daddy already said he's not getting a car until he's 18 because daddy did and had no business driving...)

Anyway... something specific set this off. In addition to the ultrasound where we saw Little Man and his boy parts and his arms and legs and all of that, he was hiding his heart. Like I said before, we're going back for further tests and I'm feeling surprisingly confident about that. Just a hunch.

The thing I wasn't prepared for was the position of his placenta. Not ideal, shall we say. There's a scary term for it that I'm not going to put here lest someone trolling the internet finds it in a search and feels the need to terrify me. My doc said she's not concerned at this point. Possibly some minor spotting and the ol' RhoGAM shot, but I need that soon anyway. In most cases, it moves out of the way and it's not a big deal. In a few months, it's a BIGDAMNDEAL, but we're not to that point. And did I mention that it usually moves?

Once home, I decided to check out the BabyCenter message board for people due the same month as I am (because I hate myself, my blood pressure was low, and...) and someone had posted about this condition. She asked if anyone had been diagnosed and it meant an early c-section. She didn't say that she had it and looked like not only did she not have it, she was only about three months along (so why on this board?) and had just lost her baby. I was very sad for her, but wondered why she was posting "information" about a scary topic that couldn't have caused her loss. Anyway, we won't get into the psychology there.

On that page, the website posted helpful "related topics," one of which was this condition. It spent one paragraph addressing what my doctor said and what is the experience of 90+% of women at this point. It spent the rest of three pages talking about catastrophic outcomes, c-sections at 26 weeks, bed rest for months, hemorrhages before, during, and after labor... I am usually better about reading things on the internet, but that TOTALLY freaked me out.

I ended up pulling out my Our Bodies, Ourselves pregnancy book, with all of its scary pictures and information and they were pretty calm about it. They said the same as my doc and had a small separate section about what can happen later in pregnancy if it doesn't "fix" itself. Calm, matter of fact, here are the facts, educate yourself, but DANG, is it necessary to tell the absolutely worst case scenario known to modern science?

So, hopefully when I go back for the ultrasound in a few weeks the ol' thing will have moved "out the way," as Ryan says. In the meantime, what the heck is the point of worrying about it? I can't do anything about it. Worrying won't help. Right now I am trying to focus some of my nervous energy into putting together the nursery (or as much as I can before daddy puts in baby's new cork floor) in case I should be put on bed rest. Besides bleeding to death, obviously, this is my second major concern. As much as I want my kid to be healthy, I also like getting paid. Plus, as lazy as I am, being confined drives me bonkers.

Ah well, whatever it takes to get this baby cooked for the optimum amount of time, right? Truly.

In the meantime, the internet (aka baby sites and their "Christmas Foods That Will Kill You and Your Baby" * emails) are dead to me. I know enough about this condition, so no more "research" and I will. not. stress. about this. Period.

In the meantime, Mr. Man has been kicking me more and more. Too bad he can't kick the stupid thing up and away, right? Seriously, though, it's great to feel him moving. And as much as I say I can't wait to meet him, I can and I WILL.

* only a slight paraphrase. Seriously, they send these alarmist emails a few times a week. Unsubscribe.

My baby bunting

2010-12-21T18:06:00.008-06:00

First, let me be clear: I understand that crib comforters are made expressly for killing babies. I understand that they along with all other blankets. soft toys, or anything else similar do not belong in a crib. It should be a barren hellscape and baby should possibly be allowed a light sleep sack-type garment to ward off a possible chill, but avoidatallcosts overheating. Okay? I get it. (Yes, there's a story and I will share it later)

So... I fell in love with this bedding from Target: DwellStudio Space. It's really squirrelly in terms of them being out of it/discontinuing it. At first I fell in love and then they said it was discontinued, then it wasn't, then today I saw it on clearance and bought everything I could find. I love it, love it, love it. Ryan does too and since he cares about such things, if we both love something and it's on clearance--don't wait around.

Here's the deal: I was able to buy the individual components of the set (bumper, comforter, crib sheet) separately and I am wondering if I really need the comforter (I KNOW IT IS DANGEROUS TO HAVE IN THE CRIB WITH A NEWBORN)--would we use it once Jr. is in the converted toddler bed (if he doesn't have baby sister who is using his old crib), would it be good for tummy time, etc. on the floor and NOTINTHECRIB? Note: this thing is paralysis-inducing cute, otherwise my cheapo nature would take over and take it right back and buy more crib sheets (which I plan to buy x300).

And let's not even start on the bumper. Oh my stars, it makes people foam at the mouth. I don't even know why they sell such things if they're clearly So Dangerous!

So, here they are:

DANGEROUS Reversible bumper (stripes on one side, rockets on the other):

HYPER-DANGEROUS comforter (also could be used on glider):
Boppy covers:Set plus crib skirt:Flannel receiving blankets:
So, like I said, I'll vent about people's comments/attitudes re: safety later. But seriously, isn't this the cutest thing you've ever seen? Finding gender neutral/boy bedding that isn't all sports is really hard and this is DARLING!

It's a boy!

2010-12-20T20:05:00.005-06:00

We had tests done a few months ago that said that the baby's a boy and although the test was supposed to be very, very accurate, I still was wanting visual confirmation. Well, we got it today. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Ryan and I went to the hospital where I had all those tests (HSG, etc.) a year ago. The tech took a zillion measurements of his noggin and bones and organs and all that. She pointed out his little boy parts. True to what I expect will not change any time soon, he was not hiding anything.

She took lots of pictures of his face. He's still pretty skeletal looking, but you can see his little nose and mouth and eyes. I may be imagining it, but I think I might be seeing his daddy's brow ridge.

We were nervous about certain measurements, especially his heart. Both Ryan and I have given him strong risk factors for heart defects. She measured and measured and measured. When she was done she said that he weighs about 12oz. at this point. She then went to the radiologist and came back to take some more pictures. We were terrified. I was crying openly. I knew that she needed more pictures of his heart, but then I panicked--what if it was his spine? Something worse? Argh. Waiting as she went to see the radiologist again was excruciating. She handed us an envelope to take to my OB. After I got changed, Ryan held me and we both expressed how scared we were. And then we said we were going to be optimistic.

Waiting at the OB's office was more fun. It wasn't too long, but it felt like it. The doctor came in to talk about the results and I cut her off. How is his heart?!? She said that what they saw was good. They hadn't been able to see a little, but not enough to even request a follow-up, but knowing our risk factors she ordered one anyway. We were both so relieved. So, technically, there could still be something we didn't see, but isn't that how it always is in life?

So, little man, you made your Mommy and Daddy both cry today. I have a feeling this wasn't the last time.

Factoid: Even though I am 19 weeks, 5 days from my last period, he is measuring 20 weeks, 5 days. No sure how much that means, if anything, about how big he will be at birth.

In other news, my cervix is a great size for delivery and although the placenta is positioned in a less than favorable position now, it has 20 weeks to shift itself. And bizarrely, I haven't gained any weight in a few weeks. Doc said that's okay as long as I'm eating and the baby's growing. I'm eating (holidays!!) and if Mr. Man is measuring a week ahead, I think it's okay. I'm sure I'll make up for it soon enough!

PRESENTS! (aka questions about registries)

2010-12-19T16:21:00.004-06:00

So, people have started to ask, really ask about registries and such and we're already getting presents. I guess it's time. I've been fiddling around on a few sites and we've been to some stores, but it's all overwhelming, of course. Exciting and fun, but dang, 98 million things to think about.

So... to all you with experience, help me out here. I assume this is like weddings and you're supposed to pick one or two places? Which was best for you as a mom? Which was best for you as a shower GUEST? Why yes, I would love a present, please go to this obscure little store that is located 100 miles from your house and is only open from 1-4PM on Wednesdays...

I'm trying this poll thing, but I'd still love specific comments. I'm soliciting advice, so please send it!

What is your favorite baby store for registries?survey software

BELLY SHOTS!!--UPDATED

2010-12-15T19:26:00.006-06:00

12 weeks, the day of the Marine Corps Marathon. After Ryan ran, we went to visit my grandfather's grave at Arlington National Cemetery since we were already there (the end point of the marathon). At this point I was mostly looking like I needed to cut back on the beer and doughnuts.

16 weeks, Thanksgiving
17 weeks18 weeks, 1 dayI will update tomorrow with 19 weeks! I swear my belly gets bigger every single day. As long as that means Mr. Man is getting big and healthy, that is all good.

19 weeks:

Awkward Pregnancy Photos

2010-12-15T19:14:00.002-06:00

Shall I begin this with my personal (PERSONAL) discomfort with my nekkid pregnant belly and while I will take (and post--I promise!) belly shots, I will always be wearing clothes. But... even the freest among us might not be so comfortable with these...

In the spirit of Awkward Family Photos, behold the awesomeness that is...

Awkward Pregnancy Photos

TIGHTs?

2010-12-12T22:21:00.003-06:00

I realize that this is a minor, minor thing, but it annoys me nonetheless.

Buying tights/pantyhose is always good fun. I am going to be honest here. I am about 5'9" and 175lbs. (more or less), which often puts me on the line between sizes and sometimes is completely off the charts. I often have trouble finding the right size that is big enough, but not baggy. But no matter what I do, it seems that the crotch usually ends up somewhere halfway down my thighs. With sheers I almost exclusively wear stockings or thigh-highs, but you can't do that with anything thicker.

Since it's gotten cold and I have some dresses that still (kind of) fit, I was wanting some maternity tights or even leggings. Well, I got some BeMaternity leggings from Target and those things are RIDICULOUS. They're thick enough and all, but they really, really want to be the exact same size as they were in the package. It's like when you're trying to roll out pizza dough and it just keeps shrinking back no matter what you do.

Today I wore them to church with an adorable little dress, beaded black flats and my plaid wool coat that doesn't button anymore, but it's not cold here enough to justify a couple maternity coats. Anyway, we went to church and then afterward we went to the grocery store. Walking into the store I was complaining about the leggings. The full-panel that was supposed to cover a full pregnant belly was hanging around the waistband of my undies. Considerably lower than just under my bust. I'm just sayin'.

By the time we got home, I showed Ryan that the waistband had pulled my undies down and were halfway down my butt. And the knees were so baggy I looked like an elephant.

WHY IS THAT?????? Why can't someone design a pair of tights that are tight enough to stay up??

The I-Word (?), Book the Third

2010-12-05T10:06:00.005-06:00

File this under How This Happened. And I'm not talking about the whole when a man and woman love each other very much...

I started seeing the infertility specialist at the beginning of August. They decided to do intrauterine insemination (IUI) with "injectibles." Yep. The shots in the gut. That was tons of fun. Still, we were only supposed to have a 1 in 3 chance of it working. Knowing we couldn't afford more than one cycle, that was somewhat depressing.

The financial aspect of it was staggering. There was the doctor part of it, plus the thousands for the drugs, plus the monitoring during my first trimester. I can't imagine what it's like for people who need multiple cycles or IVF.

Speaking of money, I can see why it's so expensive. During the first cycle I went in for an ultrasound to check my ovaries and see how many follicles were developing twice a week. They needed to be careful lest we become Ryan and Kate + 8. They said if there were too many they would "cancel the cycle." Of course, we agreed, but that would have sucked even more since we could only afford one cycle.

Timing was also a huge issue. The timing for the inseminations were based on how my follicles developed and how much of the meds they were giving me. They didn't want to do it too fast, but doing it slowly meant the beginning of school might interfere with everything. For a while there, it looked like it would be the first day of school. I was trying not to tear my hair out--you just can't miss the first day of school. Can't. You would pay for it the rest of the school year.

Turned out they did the trigger shot to trigger ovulation on Weds. night before school started. On Thursday and Friday mornings I went in for the inseminations. My doctor dared to be on vacation so they sent me out to their satellites in the suburbs and I was not impressed. Both places made me wait HOURS. What the eff is the point of making an appointment if you're going to make me wait that long. And all of this was supposedly very time-sensitive. Argh.

The procedure itself was short and uncomfortable but not really painful. Like a Pap smear or something like that. After lunch I went to school and tried to get my room in order as much as I could without bending or lifting or anything like that--just in case.

10 days after the insemination (the ones in the dr.'s office and, ahem, the traditional way so we'll never know where it happened), I went ahead and peed on a stick. It was negative. I cried and cried and cried. I knew that was our only shot, so probably that meant no baby ever. Ryan held me and told me he so wanted to give me a baby. I went to school like a zombie.

Before bed, just to torture myself, I went and pulled the pee stick out of the trash. It was positive! What the heck? Was I just too impatient? (Likely. Very likely.) The next morning I took another test and although it was still light it was positive. I went to the doc after school and had a blood test done. A few hours later, I got a call saying, "Congratulations!"

My I'm-Sorry flowers that turned into Holy-Cow-We're-Going-To-Be-Parents flowers:

Do you think it's safe to throw out all the needles and meds that are still hogging our crisper drawer in the fridge?

Oh, boy!

2010-11-22T20:37:00.000-06:00

I'll tell the long version of how this all happened soon, but I am going to explode if I don't share this.

I'm currently 15.5 weeks pregnant!
Baby Boy S is due in mid-May!

I'm feeling pretty well, all things considered. Ryan and I are so excited--but terrified as well. We have so very much to be thankful for this year! Thank you all for all of your support... now keep it coming as we take this next step! :)

Not today

2010-09-10T19:10:00.003-05:00

Today started off innocently enough. I got to work a half hour early and was looking forward to getting a little work done before the kids arrived. Ha. Haha.

I forgot my keys.

It took forever to find someone who would help me and/or who had a key that works. Half of the people in the building have some kind of semi-master key, but it still took forever.

And then, my file box with the papers I wanted to grade were locked in my closet. Key to that little lock is on the same lanyard as my room key. And my pin drive. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!

I walked into my room just as the bell rang.

Then, later...

I had an appointment for bloodwork during my lunchbreak/conference period. In the Medical Center. I screamed over there like I was in a Herbie movie. (Herbie Goes to the Doctor) I got to the office early and was going to go and remind them (as directed) that I needed to get back right away, but... the door was locked.

Locked.

I waited for 10 minutes. I banged on the door. I called and got the answer-message (no way to leave a message). I was HOT. Someone came out of another office on the floor and said they were at lunch. Yeah, but you need to be back before my appointment, especially when you made this appointment with me knowing that I HAD to be back.

So, I got down to the ground floor, up to the parking garage floor, out of the garage (Free! For once! No $5!) and prayed that I wouldn't get stuck behind a train or something. I called again another 5 minutes later and still got the recording.

I pulled into the parking lot and prayed that there would be a space. The teacher parking lot is terrifying and worth a post all its own, but I scored the ONE available spot and it was big enough for my car. I ran into the building just as the warning bell was ringing.

Some of my students were stupid enough to yell at me that I was late. I yelled something like, the bell hasn't rung yet and if you know what's good for you, you will pipe down. Not my finest moment. I did manage to calm down eventually and get my class started.

After school, I called the doc's office and rescheduled. I didn't scream like I wanted to. I will bring it up when I go next time. I could have tried to go in later this afternoon, but I was so angry I didn't think it was a good idea. I am also irritated because it's the fertility doc and I've paid them, well, a shocking amount. I guess I kind of assume that they won't stand me up.

Oh well. It's the weekend. And the lovely Ryan had the day off and came by school and put my room keys in my car. He's a good man.

Total clarity. Sort of.

2010-08-01T18:49:00.003-05:00

I've been in a major funk lately. Partially it was the stupid meds that I stopped taking and then I went into a tailspin. Partially it's starting dealing with the fertility specialists and facing all that fun and all the money and all that.

As far as that's concerned, we met for a consultation with the fertility doctor. He explained some of the options, but said it would be clearer once they did some more tests. On Friday they did an ultrasound to check out the innards of my ovaries (antral follicle count) and then they took some blood. We're going back for another consultation on Tuesday. In the meantime, I am trying to stay away from the internet because everything I've found is beyond discouraging.

In other news, I went to a week-long class this week and I'm feeling energized about this coming school year. I'm also feeling differently about some of my friends. I don't mean my first-tier, friends forever ones. I just reached my limit of what I want to deal with this year. There were some people I think I was hanging with mainly because I was used to them being there, but there was way too much drama and/or negativity. Also, "friends" who offer way too much "advice." I don't need people who try to tell me that I'm incompetent. Or say ugly things to me to kill any minute of joy I might have. I don't want to be around that anymore. I've never wanted to be that for other people and I sure don't need to get it from other people. So, I'll have to change some habits...

It's a Major Award

2010-07-19T21:56:00.004-05:00

I actually won a contest! The lovely writer of Cardigan Junkie was giving away some cool Cole Haan sunglasses and I entered. And won.

Go check her out. She's fabulous. And in the wonderful way of the internet, she's a friend of a (junior) high school friend of mine.

The I-Word, Part Deux

2010-07-08T20:44:00.005-05:00

So now what?

I went back to the doc and she gave me two sheets of pictures. Inside, all is better than well. It was almost depressing. As in, I am officially "unexplained infertility." Joy.

I have a hundred "explanations" and have done a zillion things--I quit drinking for months, exercise but not "too much," I drink pomegranate juice, take vitamins, tried to limit meds, take synthroid, took metformin for a while, etc. etc. etc.

For the last year I have been using a little machine that analyzes pee sticks. I also use ovulation predictor sticks and don't forget the pregnancy tests at the end. Lots of pee. Lots of sticks.

As if that isn't enough, I've been tracking my BBT for 31 cycles using FertilityFriend.com. Subtract the three we didn't, well, try because one of us was unwell and it's still a depressingly large number. Every single morning, day after day, month after month. It's also frustrating because I don't get up at the same time on weekends. I can set my alarm for earlier on Sunday and then go back to sleep, but what about Saturdays when I get up 2 hours earlier to go running?

Since my Cadillac Escalade insurance plan that I pay dearly for will likely run out in a few months thanks to cost-cutting at my employers' (don't get me started on the things they'll keep paying for and I pay A LOT for it, too. Much more than they do. A nice-car car-payment each month.) I need to get on the ball. I have an appointment with the infertility specialist in a few weeks. They are the same ones who tested Ryan more than a few months back.*

Interesting note: I have been told that taking hormones is a crap-shoot and might make my emotions crazy and might make them chill. I have been told this by someone who knows about emotions. A professional.

All that said, I am very blessed. I am happy with my life. It's a good life. I can lie on the couch all day and with the exception of a canine who needs minimal maintenance, that's okay. Having a baby is hard and changes everything, so I should be glad that life is relatively easy now. Ryan is lovely and he is more than enough. But. BUT.

* I have refrained from "schooling" helpful people who tell me that I need to make sure that Ryan is checked. Really? REALLY?!? 50% of the problem could possibly come from him? I am nice and thank them and say, they checked him FIRST because, well, it's pretty easy. And cheap. And doesn't involves drugs and cutting. And also, I took a health class and read Our Bodies, Ourselves. Maybe it's more a comment on the type of health education we have that people might assume that a normally functioning (otherwise), educated adult like me might not know that.

So, we shall see.

My New Favorite Blog

2010-06-29T15:38:00.003-05:00

I always love blogs about shopping and this woman is all about things that I happen to like. An added bonus is that most of what she recommends is within my price range. Some may disagree with me, but I think that reading In Style is a giant bummer. I can't afford anything and most of it is so out of my price range, that I can't even fantasize.

So, you should check out Cardigan Junkie. How cute is that name?

Cardigan Junkie

She's giving away a pair of Cole Haan sunglasses right now. Check her out!

Ice Cream Party

2010-06-19T21:32:00.008-05:00

Today we had our second ice cream party. It went well--very well, if I do say so myself.

Ryan made mint chocolate chunk gelato and dark chocolate gelato. That was quite fun as he was making custard and then two ice cream makers running... And so, so delicious. We briefly considered locking the doors and hiding and pretending that we weren't home so that we could eat it all.

Getting set up...
Menu:

grilled hamburgers (5# ground chuck--we could have used 6#)
grilled hotdogs (14 Hebrew National--we could have made 7 more at least)
grilled portobello mushrooms
buns (white and wheat)
various condiments
sliced tomatoes
lettuce (iceberg is still my favorite for burgers)
cheddar and American cheese
chips and ranch dip

dark chocolate gelato
mint chocolate chunk gelato
vanilla bean Blue Bell ice cream
homemade vanilla Blue Bell ice cream
chocolate fudge
dark chocolate sauce
caramel sauce
apple cinnamon sauce
mini M&Ms
pretzel M&Ms
mini candy bars (Whoppers, Kit Kat, Hershey, Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, York Peppermint Patty)
maraschino cherries

peach sangria
limeade
beer
water
root beer (I forgot to offer it because it was in the fridge)

Everything was a hit. Note to self: make quadruple batch of sangria.

Peach sangria, adapted from CB2's blog:

Bottle dry white wine (Rioja)
1/4 cup sugar melted into
1 can peach nectar
1/4 cup Grand Marnier
1/4 cup vodka
Juice of lemon
Peach slices (I got some awesome small, ripe, local peaches)
Lemon slices
Key lime slices

It was this kind of carnage we surveyed at the end of the afternoon/evening:

Note Eloise's discarded socks and shoes.
The kids loved the toys we have and there was some dancing on the table, but only by the under 4-foot crowd. They also, apparently, loved the drapes. All in all, a wonderful afternoon with friends. I think that the summertime ice-cream party is officially in our routine.

Notes for next time:

More meat wouldn't hurt (see above)
Grilling and then putting in chafing dish worked well
Get some sodas
Put beers, root beers, sodas in bucket (that I have and forgot about)
Larger container for frozen limeade and make more (I ran through 2 containers)
More sangria (4 bottles of wine would not be too much)
Figure out some way to keep ice cream out on the counter, at least for a little while
Make more chocolate gelato
Only one kind of vanilla is okay (maybe backup chocolate?)
4 bags of ice is good for making ice cream and drinks
consider making sangria with club soda to stretch it and make it sparkly when it's warm in the house (invariably it's extra hot and the a/c can't cope whenever we have guests)
I think we had between 25-30 people so we needed more ice cream dishes

Another sign of a good party: Ryan never got any of his chocolate gelato--other than a few licks of the ice cream paddle after he finished making it. There are maybe three scoops left of the mint chocolate and there were no hot dogs or hamburgers

Project #2

2010-06-13T15:35:00.003-05:00

The second pillow front. It doesn't look all that different in the picture, but it is prettier than the first one.

Second pillow back. Overall, the zipper was better, but I still have a lot to learn.
Two finished pillows and the next step. That cushion is a monster and includes a 42" zipper. Eek!

Pro-Ject

2010-06-13T10:32:00.008-05:00

Now that this school year is over and summer school isn't exactly taxing my brain, I needed a project. I've wanted to recover this chair-and-a-half that Ryan has had forever. I love this chair--it fits both Ryan and I, has an awesome ottoman, is perfect for curling up in and reading, and I've even slept in it when Ryan had one of his ankles rebuilt.

Here's the before:

It's currently down in the guest room because it's faded and stained and scratched by a cat that hasn't lived with Ryan in about 10 years.

I drove all over town looking for fabric that I liked at a price I could deal with. I ended up back at the fancy home fashion store, but found a less expensive option and really like the color better than the one I originally liked at almost three times the price.

"Caribbean" velvet microsuede. It's 100% polyester and therefore, 100% washable. I love the color--it's very close to a vase we have in the living room that we both love and we know the color looks good in there already.
Set-up on the dining room table:
The clipboard has my measurements of all of the pieces so I could figure out how much fabric I need. Hopefully I did it right!
Mama! Mama! Mama! Can I sit on this chair? [NO!]
Cutting patterns. Less helpful than I thought/instructions said.
Getting ready to make piping. Some of the instructions I got said to use strips cut on the bias, but I need 300ft. of it (+/- 100ft.) and that would take a zillion yards. Plus, I inspected the weave on the current chair and they're just regular... Hopefully I won't regret this choice!
Strips sewn together:
Sewing the piping:
Sewing corners and the invisible zipper I put in. Dang, that was hard! Don't look too closely...
Final product!!
Like I said, don't look too closely, but it's my first attempt and it's just one of two back cushions. I tackle the other one today and I hope that it goes a little more smoothly and is prettier.

Then it's on to the bottom cushion, the giant ottoman, and then the massive chair. Hopefully we'll be sitting in it by next weekend when we're having a party. If not, it's not a big deal, but I'm trying to use that as a deadline so I finish this before next year... or never.

References:
Fabric
Piping how-to
Piping how-to 2, including corners (I figured it out before I saw this)
Zipper in a pillow tutorial (confused the snot out of me)
Zipper in a pillow tutorial 2 (much more helpful)

The I-Word

2010-05-17T18:06:00.000-05:00

Warning: boring, detailed discussion of my lady parts

I went to the OB/GYN a few weeks ago and she said that since things are as they are and we've been "trying" for so long and there's nothing that we've found that's wrong, we're looking at the nasty word that no one wants to ever think that will apply to them.

Infertility

The doc's thought on this is that the word means as much or as little as you make it. I like that attitude.

She said that before she sent me to her infertility specialist, she wanted to check for endometriosis. I've had terrible cramps forever and some other signs that meant I had like a 50% chance of having it. I agreed to go through with the procedure and we scheduled it for a week or two later. [10 days post ovulation and on a Friday, if possible] I left and cried. And cried. And cried.

I was telling my mother about it and she said that so-and-so had endometriosis, but most of the women in my family have had these benign, "bizarre" ovarian cysts--dermoid cysts--DO NOT LOOK THEM UP. I WARNED YOU. I AM NOT EXAGGERATING. One aunt had one the size of a Mason jar. Yes, a Mason jar--large and also, kind of random comparison object. So, that completely freaked me out and for the first time in almost two years I prayed that I wouldn't get pregnant that month so I could have the surgery and get rid of the monster that was more than likely growing to basketball-size inside me.

So, we went through with the laparoscopic procedure--one small incision in my belly button and one on my pubic bone. I spent a few hours on Wednesday at the doctor and then the hospital doing pre-op things. The doctor explained things and let me answer questions and then I went over to the hospital where I waited for a good 15 minutes without anyone acknowledging me. There were two women gossiping behind a cubicle wall and I finally "coughed." I felt passive-aggresive, but then I hate when people get pissy that even though their sign said to wait, you should have asked...

I then filled out 5,000 forms, including asking if I'd filled out a living will and other questions that are very sobering. They took blood, checked my vital signs, etc. And then they sent me on my way. I went to Super Target by the medical center and walked around. I managed to not sink my teeth into a box full of cupcakes or frosted doughnuts. I can't tell you how much I wanted to, but where was I going to do that? Hunched over in the car in the parking lot?

The day of the surgery, Ryan took me to the hospital for some reason we were running late. I was panicking, but we arrived just in time for me to jump out of the car and go upstairs to wait... by the cubicle from the other day. This time, someone came and fetched me almost immediately. I got my bracelet and then they said they were going to take me back to surgery and I panicked because Ryan wasn't back yet and I had my computer with his DVD and stuff to play with. They said he'd be back with me once he arrived.

They took my vitals again and as I was changing into the world's nicest gown, some dude "knocked" on the curtain and I was all, hang on... turned out it was Ryan. Yes, I was so rattled I didn't recognize his voice. Then, someone came in and put on the world's nicest compression hose. [Yes, I nicked them for my next plane flight] She had me lie down on a bed with a big, heavy blankie on me. After a while, they wheeled me down the hall in a wheelchair and Ryan kissed me goodbye.

In the room where I was waiting they asked me eleventy billion questions. They asked me about my "allergy" to NSAIDs (technically, a drug interaction) a zillion times. They took my vitals and asked me 400 times if I was a runner (my pulse was in the 40 range). Oh, and there were these places on the gown where a hose attached to warm air blew onto you. Remember that hair dryer from the 60's-70's with the cap and the hose? Just like that. Lemme tell ya, it was DE-LUXE.

They put in the IV and the most painful part was the numbing/stinging stuff. Yowch. She said she was going to put in something to calm me before we went into the OR and... I woke up and I was kind of angry, like WTF, I wasn't ready. Yeah. Well, looking at the clock, I could tell that they probably didn't find anything. I was disappointed almost. As in, I went through all of this for... nothing?

I had to wait until they'd move me and then I got to be with Ryan and I had TWO cans of Diet Coke. I was trying to stave off a caffeine-headache and my exit ticket was peeing a certain amount and I thought that would be the fastest way to leave. Even cracked out, I am a genius and I was able to leave pretty soon. Once home, Ryan helped me up to our bedroom on the 3rd floor where I stayed for the next 48 hours. He made me Spongebob Squarepants mac and cheese and brought me drinks and Vicodin and I fell asleep.

Ryan woke up on Saturday morning at about 4:30 to go running and I was awake before he returned. I ended sitting in the bathroom talking to my mom for an hour and a half while he slept. After that, my sisters came over and entertained and fed me. It really helped. I'm more lazy than the next gal and even that was maddening. I came down for Sunday dinner and it felt good.

The doctor said that my anatomy is "beautiful" and will show me pictures when I go in the week after next. And after that? IVF and IUI were mentioned. We don't want to do IVF for various reasons and IUI sounds okay if I don't have to take any hormones. We'll have to meet with the specialist once school is out.

So, I don't know how I feel about all this (other than thankful to not have endometriosis) or how things will go. I do know that I suspect that this school year being over will help. It has been HELL at times and that can't have helped. But, we'll see.

Another kind of pain

2010-05-17T09:12:00.003-05:00

The prom at my school was on the Saturday night. After all of our lectures about safety, we sent them out this weekend. After spending the night at the school-sponsored after-prom activity, one of the students may have fallen asleep at the wheel and went over a median, running into another car, killing that driver as well as himself. It doesn't sound like he was drunk or high, just sleepy.

He was one of the basketball players and had just signed with a major college. He was well-liked and I have many of his teammates and friends in my classes. Today has been bad. First, we had to run the gauntlet of news vans and reporters. Then, we had to figure out what to do in class. I did some reading with my juniors, but after the principal's announcement and moment of silence, a student or two left to meet with grief counselors, but most chose to stay in class and watch a movie.

How do you shuffle on through something like this? How is your final blaze of glory in high school not tainted by the death of someone either you loved, or who was loved by a friend?

Breakfast in bed

2010-05-16T10:59:00.003-05:00

He said that the place mat helps the glasses from flying around when you're carrying them upstairs. I think it's pretty.

I'm feeling better after a "procedure" on Friday. Everything is going well.

Travel tips

2010-03-20T23:10:00.002-05:00

DO: Bring your noise-canceling headphones

DON'T: Bring TWO Swiss Army knives. Funny story--the TSA is not amused. Luckily, now they have a kiosk where you can send it to yourself.

DO: When going on a beachy vacation, bring contact solution, case, sunglasses, and possibly, if you're feeling cheeky, some contacts

Katie-Kat is still alive!

2010-03-20T22:21:00.004-05:00

This has been a difficult year--and by "year," I mean "academic year." I really can't and won't elaborate on that right now. I will say that I have and will prevail. Anyway.

Let's talk about what has happened, for example--over the holiday break:

someone ran a red light, hit Ryan's beloved car and then lied and said Ryan ran the light
our beloved pastor died of cancer
drama
more things I won't get into here

Okay, so that wasn't many details, but it sucked. And as my students write-- HOWEVER, Ryan and I are fine. Physically fine and happy together.

So, since I still can't say much, I will share a few happy things:

This week was Spring Break, so I did a massive road trip with my bff, complete with my Summer of '91 playlist, which has all kinds of delicious songs that were popular that summer--the best summer ever. We sang along and reminisced. I drove up to see her and attend a party and then we drove to see Shoeaddict and Sugar!! We spent a few days there and then drove home. SO. I drove about 28 hours in the space of a few days and it was TOTALLY worth it. Totally.

On my way home I stopped at a DIY-carwash and vacuumed the road trip detritus from Ryan's new car. I was so pleased with myself. When I got home, Ryan noticed that there were scratches in the clear coat. He said it looked like someone leaned on it. With intent. I couldn't think of how that happened. About five minutes later it came to me and I knew I couldn't lie about it once I realized it. So, I confessed. Turns out, you should take the vacuum hose through the car rather than over it. This is something that I realized--without assistance--after I did it. Ryan was very understanding about it--so much so that I kind of felt worse. He's pretty sure he can get it buffed out, but STILL. I was trying to freaking do something nice and somehow manage to screw something else up. I am like a combination of Curious George and Amelia Bedelia. I am a menace.

I got home late one night midweek and then the next morning we got on a plane to visit Ryan's parents at their condo in Florida. It's very nice and they were very gracious. We were Big Kids and let them lead us around and we pranced like show dogs in front of their friends. The entire thing was, as my father says, a cultural experience. And it is beautiful there. Beautiful. We went (lap) swimming in the community pool, walked on the beach (it was chilly and windy), did our long runs for the week (11 miles for me, 13 for Ryan) along the road, which has some great views--Ryan even got to go over a drawbridge. Mostly we just laid around and enjoyed the sun and blue sky.

This afternoon, we took our Mom(-in-law)-made sack lunch to the airport and were home by dinnertime. Miss Tilly was pleased to see us, sniffed us thoroughly--there was a lot to smell--and then went back to looking out the window to see if she could see Mr. Donald who watches her while we're away and treats her to multiple walks and treats her better than we do.

Now we're showered and fed and sitting on the couches. OUR house, OUR couches, OUR TV, OUR doggie. Travel is awesome, friends are fabulous, but home is always best.

2010 Reading List

2010-01-30T19:09:00.041-06:00

In Progress:

The Count of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas (unabridged)
A Death in Deptford

Completed:

44. The Boxer and the Spy, Robert B. Parker. Another wonderful YA mystery. I love that his female sidekick is much more than that.
43. You'll Lose the Baby Weight (and other lies about pregnancy and childbirth), Dawn Meehan. I won this from Manic Mommy and it is just the laugh I needed. I read it in one day.
42. Family Honor, Robert B. Parker. It's the first Sunny Randal mystery and I enjoyed it.
41. Macbeth, Shakespeare. x5. Again. One class cheered at the end. As in, that was an awesome story. Good times. Just a little murder and witchcraft to get you into the Christmas spirit!
40. (11/6) Misconceptions by Naomi Wolf
39. Eliza's Daughter by Joan Aiken. A "sequel" to Sense and Sensibility. It was enjoyable, but not quite good enough to wish for more.
38. The Yummy Mummy Manifesto, Anna Johnson. Oh, puh-leeze. You expect a certain amount of out-of-touch assvice, but keeping chocolate-covered almonds in your glove box, wearing a beaded chiffon flapper dress with a wool Aran sweater, and my personal favorite: wrap your baby naked in a sari and go for an hour walk without diapers, wipes, bottles, etc. WHAT?!?
37. Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane.
36. Mystery, Kyra Davis
35. What to Expect When You're Expecting. Fear. Lots and lots of fear.
34. The Everything Guide to Pregnancy over 35.
33. Spanking Shakespeare, Jake Wizner. Oh my, this book was funny!
32. (9/8): The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy
31. (9/3): Nickel and Dimed, Barbara Ehrenreich.
30. (9/3): Edenville Owls, Robert B. Parker. A beautifully written book for young adults--especially males.
29. (8/28): Zeitoun by Dave Eggers. Wow. This book was beautifully written.
28. (8/27): Rude Awakenings of a Jane Austen Fan by who cares. Seriously, this book was a waste, even as a doctor's office/bedtime wind-down read. So stupid. It was poorly written and none of the characters were remotely likable.
27. (8/16) The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett. I realize that I am the last person on the planet to read this book. That said, I enjoyed it immensely. My dad wouldn't let me read it when it came out because of all of the violence.
26. Shelf Discovery: The Teen Classics We Never Stopped Reading, Lizzie Skurnick. What a fun look at some of my all-time favorite books. I have a few on my student book shelf and will add more now...
25. How to Read Novels Like a Professor, Thomas C. Foster. Informative, especially for someone who hasn't sat through lots of English classes. And funny.

24. English as a Second Language, Megan Crane. Surprisingly good. It was more complicated than I expected and the end was difficult. I hate that end of the academic year feeling. You're so happy to be done, but it's painful as everyone scatters.

23. Love Overboard by Janet Evanovich. Oh my. Even for a romance novel, this one was bad. First, it kind of wanted to be a mystery novel, complete with "ghosts" and dead bodies, which is not what I signed on for, dangit. And the romance part was pretty terrible as well. You already know how I feel about the term "panty elastic." Not. Sexy.

22. (7/12): Dune Road, Jane Green. As always, Jane Green delivers. This one had a little more excitement and intrigue than usual, which I enjoyed.

21. (7/10): I Do. I Did. Now What? Life After the Wedding Dress, Jenny Lee. I tried to find this book about 5 years ago but only now got ahold of it. Funny. Helpful for a newlywed. Less advice and more telling her shameful--and hilarious--secrets.

20. (7/8): The Return of the Native, Thomas Hardy. Alternate title: Days of Our Heath-Bound Lives. It was painful to read until the last 1/4. Overall a good book, but not for summer reading. I much prefer Tess of the d'Urbervilles.
19. (6/30) The Count of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas. The abridged, but still 531-page version. It never gets old. I want to re-read the 1200-pageunabridged version now.
18. (6/29): As You Like It: Shakespeare. Yes, I'm counting this one again since I read and explained it again.
17. (6/28): Brighton Rock, Graham Greene. Each time I read this book I get more out of it. My class of boys just liked the violence.
16. (6/22): Witches and Jesuits: Shakespeare's Macbeth, Garry Wills. The first half of this book was fascinating--the second half was less so. The part devoted to the character of Macbeth was downright dull. I did enjoy the book, overall, especially about the Porter and loved reading it right before seeing Macbeth at the Globe Theatre in London.
15. (6/16): A Tale of Two Cities, Charles Dickens. Of course, he's heavy-handed, but that's just part of the wild ride. Even though this is at least the fifth time I've read this, I cried at the end. My summer school students mocked me.
14. (6/10/10): The Hound of the Baskervilles, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. I still love this book!
13. (6/10/10: Twenties Girl, Sophie Kinsella. Meh. The ghost was really annoying for half of the book. If I hadn't been stuck in an airplane seat, I would have put it on my Paperback Swap list and sent it on without finishing it.
12. (4/27/10): The Squire's Tale, Gerald Morris. Cute kids' book about Sir Gawain and his squire, Terence.
11. (4/26/10): Rattled, Christine Coppa. I read her blog on Glamour.com and enjoyed her book.
10. (4/23/10): Pygmalion, George Bernard Shaw.
9. (4/23/10): Hamlet, Shakespeare.
8. (4/17/10): Readings on Hamlet, Don Nardo, editor. Another fantastic collection of snippets of lit crit about something we're reading in class. This was the first time I ever read about Ophelia being anything other than innocent, virginal, and completely empty-headed.
7. (3/20/10): Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher. A fun read--light and hilarious and also gets into some of the hard stuff as well.
6. (3/6/10): 84, Charing Cross Road, Helene Hanff and Frank Doel. What a delicious little book.
5. (3/1/10): In Cold Blood, Truman Capote. Even though it scared me so much that I'm not going to ever sleep again, it was beautifully written.
4. (2/10): Up In Seth's Room, Norma Fox Mazer. YA book that I remembered being much dirtier--about a teenage girl with an older boyfriend--you get the idea.
3. (2/10): Mountains Beyond Mountains, Tracy Kidder. A very interesting story about a doctor in Haiti (and other countries). It wasn't terribly well-written, but it was enjoyable.
2. (1/29/10): As You Like It, Shakespeare. I read this with my 4 classes of seniors and they had trouble with it but found a few parts to be funny or interesting. I got into it more and will definitely do it again next year. Now we're watching the Kenneth Branagh movie and they LOVE it.
1. (1/10): 1984 by George Orwell. Huzzah! I finally finished it! It didn't end the way I expected, honestly. I'm glad that I finally got through it.

2010 New Year's Recovery Party Countdown

2009-12-31T16:04:00.008-06:00

I think that this is the fifth year we've thrown this party. Maybe fourth.

At any rate, here's the menu for the party (2-8PM Open House):

Main dishes/meats:

quesadillas (cheese and chicken/cheese)
sweet and sour meatballs (Ryan's mom will be pleased since it's required to have meatballs in your chafing dishes and ours are theirs, so early '70's vintage)
black eyed peas and cornbread

Snacks:

fruit salad (pre-made from Central Market--melon, pineapple, berries, kiwi, etc.)
crudité (veg and Hidden Valley Ranch dip that I make with light sour cream, so I feel less guilty about scooping it into my pie hole)
potato chips to go with ranch dip also
tortilla chips (Scoops!) and salsa and guacamole
artichoke dip with pita chips

Sweeties:

apple cinnamon muffins
blueberry struesel muffins
chocolate brownies
chocolate brownies with chocolate frosting and mini M&M's on top
chocolate chip brownies
pumpkin cake with mascarpone cheese frosting

Drinks (most in bottles/cans in a large ice chest):

various beers
cider
wine (one of red and white, people usually supply the rest)
Bloody Mary mix and vodka
Coke
Diet Coke
Sprite
Dr. Pepper

Three-Fifths Marathon

2009-11-14T19:01:00.005-06:00

All season I've been toying with doing something more than a half marathon. I ran a miserable, hot, hilly half marathon three weeks ago, which didn't help me feel good about running more. Even up until Wednesday of last week I wasn't sure, but I signed up anyway. The day was warm and muggy, the course was three loops. Long loops. I had music and that helped. Also, I saw Ryan and his friend running on the other side of the course and a friend of mine came out to cheer me on. At one point on the last loop I started to cry and under my breath said, "I want my mommy!" In my head, I heard her voice saying, "You can do it, Pony Legs!" I think she'd agree that's something she would have said had she been there. At any rate, it was a huge comfort.

I was about a mile from the finish and a police car came slowly down the left lane and I thought that they were closing the course. There's no sidewalk there and the speed limit is about 100mph, so I was panicking. Turns out they were just checking on those of us who are so slow. Soon after that I saw Ryan coming toward me. He ran(/walked) the last mile with me. He stepped to the side and I ran across the finish line alone. He kept telling me how proud he was of me.

And then we had dinner at Chuy's because if you run 25K/15.5 miles you are fully justified in swimming in a vat of creamy jalapeno dip.

I've been asked if I'm now planning to run a full marathon. Here's my answer: NO. I did that race and maybe next year I'll run it again, but I was out. of. gas. at the end. My lungs couldn't keep up and my legs were dying and I figured I could just barely finish. But, I was super-stiff and sore the next day (my first period class asked if something was wrong), but otherwise okay.

So, I ran my first 25K and still can walk. I ran it in 3 hours, 20 minutes, which is 10 minutes before the course closed, but who cares. I'm pretty proud of myself.

One Dorable

2009-11-14T17:59:00.003-06:00

That is, a dorable--adorable. It's Ryan's term and I've stolen it.

Check out what he sent me:

Watch the adorable video! (Be sure to check out the part with the mobile)

It's Rob, der Gecko! Do we need all of these adorable accessories for a carseat for Ryan's car should we ever have a little one to put in it? Okay, fine, do we WANT them? YES!

Of course, it's all only available in Germany. And THAT is the reason we won't have it. Yeah...

Found it!

2009-09-27T12:14:00.010-05:00

We've been looking for new artwork in our living room for a while now. The big prints we have now are cool, but they're a little tired. Also, every single townhouse in our neighborhood has one or two of them. I have a high tolerance for having things that other people like--I don't like things because they are popular, but something being popular isn't usually a turnoff. Unless it makes it look like an exact copy, which I feel is the case with our house.

I also posted some pictures on Rate My Space (the HGTV website/show) and got some feedback. Of course, I got the inevitable comments about decluttering and losing all the books and bookshelves ["box up what you don't need then sort by color and size"--if I was okay with treating them simply as meaningless objects, I wouldn't have that many!]. I got rid of some of the picture frames and about 200 books, but that's all I'm willing to do. I am a reader and I teach literature. I need those books close by for easy reference--and I use them often. I also have 4-5 shelves of kids books that always get lots of use when we have kids over. I would remove them if we were looking to sell our house, but until then, I will live in a library if I wanna.

They also didn't like how asymmetrical the room looks with the bookshelves, but I think they work with the giant wall of windows on the opposite wall. Also, Ryan has them strapped to the wall so they won't fall and will NOT move them again.

Finally, I put the furniture on an angle (to maximize the use of the in-floor outlets and make it less boxy. I'm okay with asymmetry, obviously.

Before:

After:

So... in place of these three...
We are thinking of hanging this...
I realize it is not even close to everyone's taste, but I love the shape (nearly square and large--about the same as the height of the middle picture and then that same measurement on the width) and the color. Also, it's newsprint, which I think fits in with who we are.

Edition Wall Art from CB2. How it's made. I know it's so not everyone's cup of tea, but I think we'd love it. And it will be far enough away that it won't trigger Ryan's newsprint phobia or so he promises.

And now in the monkey house...

2009-09-23T21:37:00.006-05:00

I saw this awesome modern crib that I thought would be perfect for anyone interested in fabulous design. You know, and babies. Look at the tiny slits. Look at the awesome plexiglass (acrylic) sides that won't get dirty when your ~~monkey~~ baby throws feces. You just put your baby in a cage!
I think it looks like it should have another acrylic panel with the slits that slides onto the top. Wouldn't that just complete the look?

Spot on Square Roh

Let the punishment fit the crime

2009-09-21T22:06:00.006-05:00

This past weekend at our school a certain club hosted a tournament. We got notice to batten down the hatches in preparation for ~~wild animals~~ teenagers dressed in suits let loose on our campus.

I spent at least a half hour on Friday putting away everything that was not nailed down, including the entire contents of my desk drawers, my desk chair and comfy reading chair--all into my cabinet that is not big enough to hold all that. Mary Poppins would have been proud. I left the building grouching about having to do that...

I made sure to get to school early this morning so that I could set up my stuff again. I walked in and my podium was halfway across the room, chairs were all over the room and desks were in disarray as if the Tasmanian Devil had been doing some competing. It wasn't even that the desks were put back in the wrong place--clearly no attempt, even an incorrect attempt, was made to clean up after themselves.

My desk had papers and paper that had clearly been pulled out of my printer (paper theft is a capital offense among teachers) along with a dictionary and some random detritus. You all know how I take these things in stride, right? I stomped around, trying to find the team sponsors. How are these kids allowed to be without adult supervision? How are they allowed to trash our rooms every single year? Why do the sponsors and/or club not check the rooms after?

So... my first class of the day is my AP (Advanced Placement) juniors. They're all involved in activities 24/7, so I was banking on one of them being in that club. A few kids came in and started to try to help me clean up and I said, no thanks, we'll wait until a team member shows up. I know they already think I'm insane, so this was Ms. Crazy, Round 17. Some poor kid walked in and was unfortunate enough to admit to:

a) being in that club
b) having actually been in my room and gee, they didn't clean up did they?

Um no, you didn't. But that's okay. I believe in second chances. (I didn't actually say that out loud)

Haha. He cleaned up. For at least 10 minutes--not counting the break he got for the US & TX pledges and the moment of silence. I barked orders at him--move this here, move that there. The other kids were staring at us slack-jawed. I also barked helpful phases that your mother said to you such as: I AM NOT YOUR MAID!

The thing is, I remained fairly calm about it (at least when the kids were in the room). And all I did was make a kid move some chairs and desks and a podium and... IN FRONT OF HIS PEERS. I bet he'll be careful in the future, at least in my room.

And the cherry on top of the delicious three-flavors of ice-cream and toppings and jimmies and whipped cream sundae? The kids were talking about me in other classes, about how mad I was and how I made the kid clean up. Sometimes having your children fear being shamed in front of their classmates is not such a bad thing.

I would marry him all over again

2009-08-20T22:44:00.003-05:00

I do a great deal of teasing of Ryan because he is, well, easily teasable. Of course, so am I. But he really is amazing. I wouldn't tease him if he wasn't.

Tonight, we went to the park to run with my group. Ryan went because he is supposed to run, too, but his group doesn't have an organized run. He took off with the faster folks and we met up at the end. Our coach came in and said that one of our teammates was coming in and overheating. No one had any ice (it was about 95°). Ryan had brought our ice pack (Rubbermaid Blue Ice Flexible Ice Blanket) from the car and he offered it, but no one was really listening. As the girl came in, everyone swooped on her and Ryan walked up, gently told her to put it on her neck and she said, "I don't know what to do." She let him put the ice pack on and made it over to a spot where she could sit. Ryan stepped back and a minute or two later walked up and took the ice pack off and wrapped it around her forearm. After a while, she started to feel better.

I was so proud. So. Proud. This girl didn't know Ryan, but he was kind and was able to help her. He's a good man.

In other, slightly related news, don't go out for fajitas with your teacher friends a few hours before a run in the heat. When it's humid. Yeah. Not good. I didn't need assistance, but I sure did feel crummy.

UK Trip: Wales (Swansea, Tintern)

2009-08-07T08:57:00.021-05:00

Castle Square, Swansea. Along the edge of the fountain is a line (0r 2) from a Dylan Thomas poem. In addition to a national museum and the Dylan Thomas Center, we went for a mid-day drink and the world's best cheese plate at the No Sign Bar, one of Mr. Thomas' haunts. I had cider, which, of course, was a lot stronger than what you get here, but the cheese, oh the cheese. A really aged cheddar, something soft like Camembert/Brie, and another kind. Plus, some mango chutney and crackers and butter. YUM!

Rhossili Bay. I don't know if this was one of the beaches and/or cliffs we walked along in the wind and rain back in '91. If not, we went to some places like this.

The only picture of Ryan and I together that we have (for obvious reasons).

Walking along the edge here made me want to scoot on my butt, but it was so beautiful that I just kept pushing myself. Maintenance provided by sheep.

The sign, in Welsh and English saying stay away from the edge, you nimrod, or you might fall over. You will see that the sheep don't get too close here--they're not stupid. Read Why Didn't They Ask Evans? by Agatha Christie for a story that involves a treacherous cliff in Wales.

If it hadn't been so late (the sun's position there makes it light a lot later--this was about dinnertime), we might have gone down to the beach, but it was cool to just see it. Plus, I didn't want to fiddle with tide tables since they change fast there and everyone has a story about getting stranded.

Ryan did really well with the driving. He said it wasn't so much driving on the other side of the road or shifting with the other hand, but the narrow roads that often aren't wide enough for 2 cars and have a stone wall on one side and a gigantic truck on the other. This picture is of a road with two-way traffic on it, even though it's barely wide enough for one car.The Mumbles, which is near Swansea. We went there for just an hour or two, to see the little picturesque seaside town and get some dinner. Fish and chips. And cider.

Tintern Abbey. I really wanted to go there, partially because I'd heard it was beautiful and partially because I've always struggled with Wordsworth and I have to teach his poem. I don't know that I now am a huge fan of his, but I do get why he was so moved by this place. I was moved as well. He viewed it from a few miles away, up on the hills. I stood inside the ruins of the abbey. I could imagine the monks there. I could imagine the people coming for Mass.

When we first arrived, it was raining--hard. Seeing as the place has no roof thanks to Henry VIII, we were under umbrellas and I had my hood up. I actually took a few pictures from under an umbrella that turned out okay. I really cared because I wanted to take pictures back to share when we read the Wordsworth poem. It's so long and I thought that the visuals would help.
The church. There are also ruins of the other buildings that made up the abbey. We even enjoyed finding the toilets (smallish room with a deep trench attached to drains).

Would you like a little cheese with that whine?

2009-08-07T08:50:00.003-05:00

Okay, so I've complained about the mental and physical rigors of traveling, but I haven't talked about the fun part. That is, the reason you put up with breathing dirty air and eating everything covered in mayonnaise. I'm working on a post with some pictures. I'm also working on printing some pictures in a poster-size without spending a fortune. A few friends asked for one for their walls at school and I am not about to pay $35 for a high-quality photo enlargement. Also, I want some. I think Costco was my lowest price. We shall see.

Smoking's Cool

2009-08-03T16:25:00.005-05:00

There was a recent smoking ban in the UK. Non-smokers and asthmatics rejoice!

Of course, everyone still smokes. EVERYONE. Often, it's a few people huddled against the wall, fighting the wind and rain. But one night, we were walking through Soho and saw this:

And this:It kind of tickled me. It made me think of the club that the brothers want to open in A Night at the Roxbury.

Funk

2009-08-02T14:46:00.005-05:00

We got back from our vacation on Friday night, went to sleep early, woke up early to run (8 miles) and then rested all day yesterday. I fell asleep around 9 last night and woke with the alarm at 7 or something. I've been downloading pictures and doing a little laundry and we went to the grocery store and I almost flipped out. It wasn't really crowded yet, but everything was overwhelming me. Ryan asked me if I needed "something." Yes.

I expected a post-vacation slump, but this is different. It started during the vacation. I noticed something when I was looking at the pictures. We had some awesome times, but the stress of the arrangements and finding things and food after 5PM (because everything including restaurants close early) got to me, too. We also figured that there were days when we easily walked 10 miles. And my feet were, my feet, so I was dealing with pain and stiff and sore muscles. So, not feeling super-fantastic every minute isn't really realistic. That's cool. I get that.

But then, I have photographic evidence of a bad day. This was Thursday and we'd blocked off the entire day to see the British Museum and then the British Library. I was so excited. Ryan had been talking about the "Rosetta Frickin' Stone" for MONTHS. We got there late because I couldn't get myself ready that morning. Crowds were forming and they were getting on my nerves--teeth grindingly. You walk into one gallery and there it is--the Rosetta Stone. I've wanted to see that for as long as I live and I couldn't feel anything. Eh. Cool.

Ryan took this picture of me:

I was actually enjoying what I was looking at. Can't you see? After that, we took a brief trip to the bathroom and in the hallway, Ryan slipped me an anti-anxiety med. A whole one. The next one is of me right after that, looking at the Elgin Marbles. You know, the scuptures off the tops of the Parthenon? Such excitement.

After wandering and seeing lots of cool things and eating lunch and throwing my trash and dishes into the same can and getting yelled at, we passed an empty case. There was a sign "Where Is Lindow Man?" Oh, he's off helping open a museum near where they found him. WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. Ryan looked kind of huffy and then immediately went into comfort-mode. As in, comfort your wife who was looking forward to seeing BOG PEOPLE for frick's sake. I stood there and then sort of paced for a while, trying to tell myself that I was going to be a big girl and not cry. It happens.

After that, we went to the British Library and there was no Chaucer and Beowulf was in his 6-month storage period. I understand that in theory, but DANG! Not the day.

Then we walked into St. Pancras station because it's pretty and then walked around Soho for longer than I wanted and got noodles and came back to the hotel to pack and rest.

I realize that's a lot in one day. A LOT. And following about 12 similar days, but something was off. After walking IN CIRCLES in Oxford for almost an hour, I leaned against a wall and cried in public. Only briefly, but still. It just feels different.

I have a doctor's appointment in the next week or so. And I have this next week off so hopefully I can rest and prepare for this next year and my new, much harder class.

The great summer dress sale

2009-07-01T22:45:00.003-05:00

In general, things from J Crew do not fit me. Today, I saw some things in the window and went in anyway, even though I was pretty sure I would strike out. But I found this dress. On sale, no less. Perfect for traveling and teaching--just add a cardigan.
A week or so ago I went to MaxStudio.com, a store that I always pass and sigh as I see all the little dresses I want to buy but can't fit in or afford. Apparently, there was a tear in the space-time continuum and I slipped into a world where I could fit into and afford their dresses. I took 3 dresses into the dressing room and all 3 were very flattering. I couldn't afford all 3, but I did get these 2.

This dress in a really bright green. It's so freaking cute!

Sundress in blue. The length is perfect (not too short) and with one of the cardigans from my stable, I wore it to church last week and felt very comfortable.

Shopping

2009-06-21T21:24:00.003-05:00

We're planning for our trip to parts of the UK and Ireland next month and I've picked up a few things...

North Face Windbreaker (lightweight--much lighter than it appears in the photo--with a hood, "Bliss Blue")
Keen Carmel sandals (super comfy and I got a size larger than usual)

Traveling shoes question

2009-06-06T22:48:00.003-05:00

Okay, here's the deal. When I travel, my feet swell outrageously. Even though I travel with walking shoes--Clark's, Doc Martens, sneakers, etc. my flesh gets torn off my feet. It's horrifying to behold. I wear good shoes and usually socks. I break the shoes in. I cut back on salt and drink as much water as I can. And still my feet swell so much my shoes don't fit.

When we went to Italy on our honeymoon, I could barely hobble around because my sausage feet hurt so much. I felt like they were stuffed into three-sizes too-small shoes. A week into the trip, my feet were still swollen alarmingly and the men all said I should have been wearing sneakers--as if that wouldn't have been worse--I wasn't wearing stilettos, I was wearing freaking walking shoes! And sneakers are awful when your feet are swollen because there's only so far you can loosen the laces. There's no relief. Another woman helped me out by loaning me some shoes that were a half size larger than I normally wear. I finally felt some relief.

On subsequent trips, I've had my feet swell again. When we went to Eastern Europe I had a pair of Sofft loafers and a pair of Clarks loafers with heels. I had no problem until we were in Paris and I wore the heeled loafers with tights instead of socks. I had the old horror movie torn, bloody flesh. Painful and also extremely sexy. All I wanted to do was lie on the bed with my feet up the air. And that's it.

So, what should I do? Should I just buy some nice walking shoes in a half size larger? What about socks? I want to be able to wear skirts and dresses (you can easily dress them up or down).

And I don't want to wear some horrible ugly shoes! Especially because I know from running that some hideous lace-up thing, like sneakers, can be a torture chamber when your feet get all hot and swollen.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

TWO MORE DAYS

2009-05-27T21:00:00.003-05:00

We're all done with classes and starting last Friday we've had finals. I have all seniors this semester, so it's very, very important that they all do well and pass so that they can graduate.

This morning, a student who I've had a somewhat rocky relationship with, but have made a peace with, walked in wearing a longish spaghetti-strapped shirt posing as a dress. It just barely didn't cover her business. Seriously, I was afraid that if she turned at all, I would see exactly whether or not Britney Spears was wearing undies. I turned away and while I was looking for something sharp to jab into my eyes, I wrestled with the correct response. Clearly, she was out of dress code, but did I want to have a giant fight and have her miss the final and then have to give it to her at an inconvenient (to me) time?

Teenagers, of course, are deliciously self-regulating. Often it manifests itself in all the hateful stuff you remember from high school, but sometimes it's useful. In this case, Lady Godiva didn't even get to her desk before another girl (a friend), says, "Girl! Where are your clothes?!?" It took all the self control that I have to not bust out laughing--the kind where you cry and hiccup. I got distracted and a few minutes later I looked over and she was wearing a gigantic sweatsuit--pants and hoodie. I suspect it came from the football player who sits in front of her. Good times.

In between the finals, I ran down the hall to run my Scantrons. The woman using it was not doing anything wrong, but after a while of listening to them run (it's like machine gun fire), the thing started making this horrible shrieking/galloping noise. So, there are three machines in the building and one is now worn out. Not permanently broken, but useless. So, the other two now get all the extra traffic. How many more days?

After that, I was entering grades and using my extremely OCD-Excel spreadsheet with all of their grades to make sure that you don't have an average of 69 or 89.4 or something. So, I got this email from the principal asking what's up with one of my students having a 69 for the semester. Well, clearly, that was a mistake. She was supposed to have a grade a few points higher. I added some points to her final and hopefully the evil computer system will "average" that correctly. Or at least 70 or higher so she gets credit and GRADUATES.

No sooner had I sent that message than I got a message from a counselor asking about another kid who got a 68. Again, for the semester--that was wrong. I've "failed" (they fail themselves, blah, blah) kids, but not when it's so close to passing. It was the same issue. So then, I'm going and double and triple checking all the other students' grades. Another teacher was changing grades for one student and it was changing other students' grades at the same time. Seriously? Is this the time for the system to get buggy? I want my students to GRADUATE ON SUNDAY.

My trailer class (repeaters) trickled in and out during the 2 hour final period. There was a graduation rehearsal, etc. I ended up with 2 and the one girl had brought cupcakes for the class and forgot about them, so we each got a few to share with friends. Well, except for the boy who polished off about 3. I'm going to miss that class. It started off small, but by the end--not counting the girl who never, ever, ever came to class, seriously, I never saw her--there were only 6. They had all kinds of issues and we talked about them. That was the class with the kid who was high every single day and we called for help a few times before he got kicked out and went to jail. That was the class where we watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail (after we read all the King Arthur stories and of course it's "culture") and my non-native English speakers laughed their butts off. I'll miss them and I'll miss having a class where I could do whatever I wanted (within reason).

After my fabulous day, I was wondering if 12:30 was too early for a margarita. I passed and after I came home I took a long nap.

One more day with students. Then Friday is closing up shop. I have to pack up a few things for summer school next week and then it's a long weekend with graduation on Sunday. I'm so glad that this year is over!

And there was great rejoicing

2009-05-13T22:44:00.003-05:00

Did every teacher in the land laugh and cheer? Have we all made this exact gesture to students?

Tim & Julie & Stella have some news!

2009-03-20T17:29:00.002-05:00

I'm an auntie again! Proud Papa promises pictures pronto.

We're going for a short visit tomorrow to meet the baby and see Stella.

More about my GOITER or 3 hours at the hospital

2009-02-25T21:18:00.004-06:00

I spent three hours at the hospital today getting an ultrasound done. Do not ask me why they sent me to the hospital instead of the place across the street. I had to wait in admitting for about half an hour before they could check me in. I only saw about four other people, but apparently, they were slammed. It was pleasant and the chairs were comfy and I read and fell asleep, so that was good.

After 45 minutes I was checked in and wondering how the hospital has my info circa 2004. Did I have some procedure or test that I have blocked out? Very odd. Anyway, they walked over to another waiting area. I tried to tune out the TV and read and slept more. The woman who walked me over came about 15 minutes later with someone else and called again to have them come get me. 5-10 minutes later they did.

I got to the ultrasound area and the woman had me lie down and after about 5-10 minutes she started. It took at least half an hour. She then said that she was a student so they'd look over her work and then maybe come take more pictures. Sure enough, 15 minutes later, someone else came in and spent another 30 minutes taking pictures. They spent a lot of time on what I realized was the side that's most swollen (or whatever), but the second woman spent time there, too, so they should have the info they need.

I dozed during the procedure and I realized I was crying a little. I know it's possible but not probable, but surgery can be required. I'm not a pro or anything, but would that affect my voice? Would I have a big scar on my neck? Was it worth worrying at this point? Back to snoozing...

I had to wait to make sure that the radiologist was happy with the info they got and then finally I was able to clean the goo off my neck and I walked out to my car, which I'd parked about 3 blocks away (I always park there when I go to my doc because it's free). I knew I was late for church and I was just really calm about it. Traffic was bad and I didn't stress. I passed in front of church just as everyone was letting out. Oh well. I got to pick up Ryan.

They said my doc should have the results by Friday or maybe Monday. I'm interested. I still need to call an endocrinologist. Ugh. I hate the phone. So, no news yet. I'm just glad that's done. And what's up with being so calm? And how can I replicate that?

Better

2009-02-21T15:58:00.005-06:00

Ryan got his cast off on Wednesday. He has a boot for the next four weeks. He has to use crutches for another week (or less, since it's only until Weds.). He can't drive until he's out of the boot in a month. He has shooting pain in his incision that comes and goes. He takes ibuprofen at night, but otherwise, he's dealing with it.

I had some kind of intestinal thing this week and I am not completely better yet, but I don't want to lie on the floor and cry anymore. I also fell down and busted my kneecap the other morning. As I told my dad, yes, I did it while I was running. Up the stairs. Indoors. It still hurts if I touch it, but the solution to that is not touching it. It's also a little stiff, but that's temporary. I told Ryan that I did it to get attention (haha). Seriously, what does it say about me that I would rather act like it's me being some attention-seeking freak rather than just plain stupid?

We went to the club today and worked out. Ryan did strength training and I used the elliptical trainer and ran on the treadmill. I stayed away from the cross trainer after it made my IT band hurt so much I wanted to cut my legs off a few weeks ago. It is a little sore, but stretching has helped.

And Matilda is doing very, very well. We had a running debate about what was bothering Tilly more--the crutches or the cast. My vote was for the cast, possibly knowing that we only had to deal with it for 2 weeks rather than 3 weeks of crutches. I didn't think I could deal with any more drama. Well, I was right! My baby is sleeping through the night again and is eating again. When I pull into the driveway she's usually back in the front window and leaps up when she sees me. Hooray!

Running out of patients

2009-02-07T11:10:00.006-06:00

Warning: some of this is a little gross

Ryan had surgery on his ankle on Thursday. It's something he's needed for years and years. He inherited weak ankles from his dad and twisted and twisted and twisted them until there was no ligament left. Nearly 8 years ago, his doctor fixed his left ankle by slitting the tendon and threading it through his bone to "make" a new ligament. He had the same thing done on his right ankle this time. He has a cast for 2 weeks, a boot for a few more and crutches.

The doctor said it looked good and Ryan is already moving around the house a little. Our house has 3 stories and the middle floor has all the fun stuff (couches, good TV and VCR, kitchen), but no bathroom, so he's getting his exercise going up and down the stairs. The doc said as long as he's careful not to tump over and crack his skull open, that's good. He even okay'ed an outing today. We were thinking breakfast, but since it's past 11 and someone is still (mercifully) asleep, I think it's going be lunch (or blunch).

Little Miss Tilly, on the other hand, is being my problem patient. She gets really upset when things are unsettled around here and we moved furniture and switched where we sit and sleep and moved her bed. Winnifred is not okay with that. She also hates the crutches. HATES them. So, in true S-Family fashion, she is panicking and freaking out. Panting with her tongue halfway to the floor. We reassured her and talked to her and "listened" to her. No dice. Both nights she's flipped out. Running back and forth and in circles. Whining and crying.

The first night she calmed down for a few hours but woke me at 4AM and didn't let me sleep after that. I finally got out of bed and made a tray with some snacks for Ryan and a cooler with drinks. He really wanted me to go to work and since it was an early-dismissal day, I agreed. I figured he wouldn't be alone (and awake) for too long. Apparently either Tilly didn't fuss at him or he was so knocked out, he didn't notice.

Last night, I tried putting her in another room and she whined so loud the neighbors must have heard. I put her behind the gate and she rammed it until she knocked it over and clambered over it. I think that's when she cut her paw. I cleaned it up and I don't see any major damage (only a flesh wound), but I still have to clean up the tiny bloody paw prints on the stairs.

Today I checked her paw again and it looked okay so I took her for a run/walk/sniff everything. We were out for a good long time and hopefully that will help. She's definitely calmer now. I'll take her out again tonight. And maybe give her Benadryl, although I'm not sure if there's any point. We gave her some last night and it bought us 2 hours (maybe) of ~~not going completely bonkers and hurting herself~~ calm. I don't know if I should take her to the vet today just in case something else is wrong. She does this--on a smaller scale--when Ryan goes out of town, so that's why I'm not completely freaking out.

To recap:

Successful surgery
Ryan is in good spirits
Poor doggie needs to chill

Google Earth is making me sick

2009-01-25T21:12:00.003-06:00

Somehow, today was the first time I played with Google Earth on my own computer. I am researching some sites in the British Isles and it's very, very cool. However...

The zooming that I can't control (yet) is FREAKING ME OUT.

I'm not exaggerating. First, it makes me kind of sick in terms of motion sickness. Then, I am deathly afraid of when it's zooming down onto water. What is it zooming onto?!? What will it show?!?

I just accidentally clicked on the North Sea and had to minimize it and was terrified to look at it once it was done zooming. My heart was pounding. I was breathing shallowly and my muscles were all tensed up. What horrible thing would I see? I'm serious.

I told Ryan about this earlier and, God love him, he looked at me with interest and kindness rather than horror and pity and asked what I was worried about seeing. Um...

Monsters?
Sea monsters? (More Leviathan than Nessie-- she doesn't count here because I would love to see her)
Scary undersea holes?
Things that will jump out at me?
I don't know. Scary things?

Do I need to call my doctor to up the dosages on every medication in the world? Do I need to see a therapist every hour on the hour? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

Resolve to save a life!

2009-01-21T20:14:00.003-06:00

Manic Mommy's at it again! Her 2nd annual

Manic Mommy's Virtual Blog for Blood Drive

There are prizes again this year--including a trip to Florida! Of course, the greatest reward is donating blood and helping save lives.

The American Red Cross has banned me from donating blood because of potential exposure to Mad Cow Disease and Ryan's being turned away for a while because of his time in Africa last year, but you, can you donate? Please do! Get someone to take a picture of you and send it to Manic so that you can be entered for a prize.

January 1--February 28, 2009

Half Marathon #3

2009-01-18T20:33:00.003-06:00

It went really well. It was much warmer and more humid than we wanted, but it was bearable. I finished in 02:51:30. That was 1:05 more than Tulsa and really, a minute and 5 seconds? Not significant. And it was about 15 minutes faster than this time last year. Not shabby.

Maybe someday I'll run a full marathon. Once I run a little faster so I won't be out in the Houston heat and humidity for 6 hours. I firmly believe that a full marathon is much more than twice the effort of a half marathon.

Speaking of effort, I am tired. I will try to post photos and share more info about it tomorrow. I'm lucky enough to have the day off... Zzzzzzz....

P.S. Ryan PRed again. Another 4 minutes off his time and it was crowded and hot, so it means that much more to him. Yay!

28804

2009-01-17T11:21:00.004-06:00

The marathon and half-marathon are tomorrow morning. Hopefully, I'll be done before 10AM tomorrow. It's going to be on the warm side, which doesn't please either of us, but what can you do? We have all our stuff and will assemble and pack bags and belts and stuff.

I'm excited. I'm also a little sick. Sniffly, headachey, body achey. Ugh. We're resting all day, eating light meals with carbs today (frozen pizza for dinner) and bed early--hopefully sleep early.

I'm really distracted. I cannot focus on anything. Oh, and the post title is my bib number.

Loitering and lurking

2009-01-12T16:24:00.005-06:00

Hello, boys and girls! Today is De-Lurk Day!

Do you read my blog, but not comment? Just for one day, poke your head and say hello! I'm sure that I'd like you if you like me enough to read my blog. =) I have a pretty decent idea of who and specifically where my readers are from, but it would awesome to have names and faces and be able to say hi to you, too. And if you could say something about why you read, that would be cool, too. I do so much selfish blabbing, I wonder if any of it every helps anyone else.

I did (temporarily) take down the security features on comments. Well, until all the spammers come with their offers of cat furniture and "enlargement."

Do I really look like that?!?

2009-01-09T19:27:00.005-06:00

In the middle of trying to change my perception of what is healthy and what is not, this photo was posted of me on Facebook.

I was scanning down--my hair was really frizzy because it was very humid that day. Seriously, it was almost matted by the end of the day. So, whatever. Scan down...

Not bad. Still need to work on tummy...

Hey, thighs are even looking firm, but what the HECK is in between? Even Sir Mix-A-Lot wants me to put that butt away. I have a nice little bum with a really nice flat of my back and I'm pretty proportioned. Or so I thought...

I asked Ryan, knowing that it's dangerous to ask your man if a picture makes your butt look good. He was like, did someone Photoshop that?!? Do they have a fisheye lens on their camera?

All kidding aside, I think it's partially the jeans' fault. They used to be fabulous, but now there's slack in the behind. I mean, I can grab extra fabric. So, is it time to buy a new pair of jeans to fit the body I have now? They're expensive, even if I buy just one. But when will I need a smaller size? In a few months? Never?

Or, should I have the pair that do fit right now altered so they're short enough to wear everyday (they're high-heel length now)?

Чип и Дейл спешат на помощь

2009-01-06T21:53:00.005-06:00

One of my friends from school had this as his Facebook status and I was stunned. It felt like someone smacked me in the chest. It's the title of the Russian version of Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers. We used to watch it. When we lived in the Soviet Union. One character used to go into ecstatic fits over cheese. Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese! It used to ache so much because I wanted cheese. We went months and months and months without even seeing cheese, much less eating any.

So many thoughts. I don't like remembering being hungry all the time. It was 18 years ago and then sometimes it feels like it was 10 minutes ago.

The kids came back today and I am beat. My five regular/smallish classes were combined into 4 large classes and then I have my "trailer" class for the kids who failed in the fall. There are currently about 12 students, but there are sure to be more when the counselors get around to adding the kids we told them to add before the break. What is wrong with counselors? Why can't they get anything right when it comes to schedules? How hard is it to not give a kid TWO classes during ONE class period? He said, "Miss, I'm not a worm. I can't split myself and be in two places." I laughed. They're sweet.

I am so ready for this semester. Last semester was an almost unmitigated parade of blood and guts, war and revenge and even a little suicide*. I'm ready for some satire and comedy and romance!

*Reading material, not real life.

2009 Reading List

2009-01-01T20:13:00.027-06:00

26. (10/27/09): Bloom's Guides Geoffrey Chaucer's Canterbury Tales. Interesting, helpful summaries of characters and tales.
25. (10/15/09): Fifty Works of English Literature We Could Do Without. Good times.
24. (9/28/09): The Wright 3 by Blue Balliett. This is the second in a series of delicious kids' books. Three friends who solve a mystery revolving around a Frank Lloyd Wright house.
23. (9/20/09): Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich. My students read this as part of their summer reading assignment. Even in my comfortable existence, I could relate (personally) to this book more than I was comfortable with. I hope that education is a large part of what my students will have as armor against this type of existence.
22. (9/12/09): Special Relationship by Robyn Sisman. It was better than I had expected, having read another of her books. Fluff for sure. There was a whole plot line with a character who is clearly a YOUNG BILL CLINTON and it was maddening with all of the details, just changed a tiny, tiny bit. It even made sure to date the book in 1992. That was tedious. The journey of the woman was interesting.
21. (8/25/09): Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte. I can see why it's a classic and why people get into it, but mostly I wanted to smite every single character. Heathcliff isn't romantic, but kind of an ass. He's a demon-possessed ass-hole. And Catherine... Those two deserved each other.
20. (7/31/09): Austenland by Shannon Hale. Even as a vacation read, it was pretty thin. I just wasn't too jazzed about the character. I get so tired of women who think that Mr. Darcy is the perfect man. He's the perfect man for Elizabeth Bennet, but for a modern woman, he is an ASS.
19. (7/13-14/09) Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer. I read this book in the space of 6-8 hours for a class I was taking. It was incredible. Moving and yet, still hopeful.
18. (7/09): Summer Reading
17. (7/1/09): Brighton Rock by Graham Greene. I read it with the summer school kids and although they didn't quite get all of the hellfire, damnation and redemption, they did like the gang themes and wanted to discuss what would happen and how relationships work, etc.
16. (6/22/09): Shakespeare's Secret by Elise Broach. A young adult book mystery about Shakespeare, a missing diamond, and friendship. I especially related to the heroine's feelings about moving often and finding a place in a new school.
15. (6/19/09): A Room with a View by E. M. Forster. Always a good one. The summer school kids had trouble with it, but some got into it and all liked the movie. Except for the swimming hole scene that I didn't show them. ;)
14. (6/9/09): The Hound of the Baskervilles by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Once again, this was a hit with the summer school kids. Many of them have never even heard of Sherlock Holmes and it's a great story.
13. (6/7/09): The Annotated Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. Good fun. All sorts of notes that almost doubled the length of the book. I loved it!
12. (6/2/09): The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde. Never disappoints.
11. (5/09): Pygmalion by George Bernard Shaw (x4 with my regular classes)
10. (4/21/09): What Jane Austen Ate and Charles Dickens Knew: From Fox Hunting to Whist-The Facts of Daily Life in Nineteenth-Century England by Daniel Pool. A delightful resource on 19th century culture and customs. So very helpful for when reading Dickens, Austen, etc.
9. (4/09): A Midsummer Night's Dream by William Shakespeare. My class of repeaters liked this one, as did I.
8. (3/09): Imagined London : a tour of the world's greatest fictional city by Anna Quindlen. Fun, but not the greatest book I've ever read.
7. (3/22/09): Crewel Yule by Monica Ferris. Another "cozy" mystery about the woman who owns a needlecraft store in MN.
6. (3/09): Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe.
5. (2/09): Issues of Class in Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice by Claudia Durst Johnson, editor. Some interesting articles.
4. (2/2/09): Lady Macbeth: A Novel by Susan Fraser King. A really enjoyable novel about the much-maligned villainess of Shakespeare's play. I love historical fiction, so it was just fun to begin with. I would definitely recommend this one.
3. (1/31/09): Swell A Girl's Guide to the Good Life by Cynthia Rowley and Ilene Rosenzweig. Cute, but nothing that new. I got it from Paperback Swap and relisted it as soon as I read it.
2. (1/09) The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids by Madeline Levine. This is a really helpful book for parents, I assume, and teachers, definitely. I don't know everything, obviously, but I was starting to understand the ghetto kids, but these affluent kids? Huh? I did understand high parental expectations for grades, but otherwise, not so much. Now my principal wants me to share with other faculty. A parenting book? Thanks for the vote of confidence, but I'm not a parent! Haha!
1. (1/09)The Shakespeare Stealer by Gary Blackwood. Cute book about a young boy whose master tells him to steal Shakespeare's Hamlet. A really riveting inside view of Shakespeare's company and Elizabethan society.

National Body Challenge

2008-12-30T20:47:00.000-06:00

I did this a few years ago and it was great. Of course, it was 3 months free at Bally Total Fitness and now it's just 1 month. But one month is better than none and then they usually give you an actually good offer if it works for you and you want to join. (I married a member and we're planning to go there later to swim) They have diet and exercise plans and other cool things. You can chart your current and goal weight, BMI, and waist/hip ratio.

My goal is to lose 15 pounds in 2 months. Do you think I can do it? Do I want to do it? Do I want people to stop asking me if I'm pregnant?
So far, this week, I ran 20 minutes yesterday and swam 35 minutes today. I need to be better about eating breakfast while I'm on vacation and when I go back to school next week. I snack less (and I'm less nasty) when I eat a big, healthy, protein-packed breakfast. Ryan wants to work out more often, too. I just got to where I came home from school and parked on the couch or even napped in bed. Must be better about that.

Preparing for the New Year's Party

2008-12-30T18:55:00.003-06:00

For once, the house is already clean--woohoo! But the important stuff... FOOD!

quesadillas
guacamole
black bean salsa (Homemade Gourmet "HG")
sandwich fixings (cold cuts, cheese, bread, condiments)

fruit (apples, pears, oranges, strawberries, honeydew, cantaloupe)
spiced dip made with mascarpone cheese--we have some leftover (HG)
crudité (carrots, celery, mushrooms, cucumber, cherry tomatoes)
Hidden Valley Ranch dip (light sour cream and the mix)

key lime cheesecake ball (HG)
graham cracker sticks
lemon blueberry muffins (HG)
chocolate brownies (?)

coffee and tea
orange juice
cranberry juice
sparkling water

What else? Ryan is also thinking black-eyed-peas and cornbread muffins. I don't know how to make them, so he has to figure it out. He's a good cook, so the question is really his level of desire to do it.

Not ready to take it down

2008-12-26T21:51:00.004-06:00

It took me a long time to put up our little tree. It's a little short and sad, but I think we've got the decorations much better this year.

I hope you all are well and are having a safe and happy holiday season!

Look into the future

2008-12-26T18:19:00.002-06:00

Since I'm off and have a little time, I can share some of the gems from the past (few) semester(s).

The vocabulary words were the following. They had to use the words correctly in terms of meaning and part of speech.

Flinch (v)
Wince (v)
Reproof (n)

The sentence:

"He flinch evil upon our relationship and brought along wince and I sure was not going to reproof such."

No, I heart YOUR blog!

2008-12-22T22:06:00.004-06:00

One of the sweetest people I know online, but who I've never met in real life, passed this to me. Thanks so much, Lawfrog! You are always a voice of quiet sanity in this crazy world.

The way this works is I answer the following questions with single word responses, and pass the award on to 5 other bloggers:

1. Where is your cell phone? Couch

2. Where is your significant other? Couch

3. Your hair color? Brown

4. Your mother? Mom

5. Your father? Dad

6. Your favorite thing? Books

7. Your dream last night? Forgotten

8. Your dream/goal? Life

9. The room you're in? Living

10. Your hobby? Reading

11. Your fear? Insanity

12. Where do you want to be in six years? Forty

13. Where were you last night? Home

14. What you're not? Peaceful

15. One of your wish list items? Wheels

16. Where you grew up? Yes

17. The last thing you did? Ate

18. What are you wearing? Jeans

19. Your T.V.? Aquos

20. Your pet? Matilda

21. Your computer? MacBook

22. Your mood? Unsettled

23. Missing someone? Always

24. Your car? Egg

25. Something you're not wearing? Watch

26. Favorite store? Bookstop

27. Your Summer? Magic

28. Love someone? Yes

29. Your favorite color? Red

30. When is the last time you laughed? Today

31. Last time you cried? Today

YOUR TURN!

I'm passing this on to the following bloggers who I love:

Alli
Alane
Julie
Junebug
Mary

Punk

2008-12-14T16:47:00.003-06:00

I store our fragile ornaments in paper and as I unwrapped them, I laid it flat on the floor. I meant to then fold it and put it in the storage bin along with empty boxes and whatever else is left once the decorations are out.

I guess I got distracted and forgot to put the paper away...
It's a good thing she's cute!

Update and snow photos

2008-12-10T22:08:00.004-06:00

It looks like Ryan's spending the night in Dallas. I'm glad because bridges are starting to freeze and I don't want him driving home (or being driven) from the airport even if he made it back here. I am annoyed that Continental has no updated info on the plane he was supposed to take. It was coming from Houston, was going to Dallas and then back home. It left the gate, but was taxiing to the runway and delayed due to deicing. At 6:30. 3.5 hours later... Are those poor people still on the ground? That would suck.

Here are some pictures I took here:

I also brought in the lime and avocado trees. Genius. Perhaps I should have done that earlier. I am thankful for a warm house tonight. Matilda and I are going to bed soon.

It's snowing!

2008-12-10T18:40:00.002-06:00

Big fat snowflakes! It's been coming down here for about an hour. It's too warm and has been too warm for it to stick. I'm just praying that Ryan's flight from Dallas gets in and that he can get home. I worry about being on the roads when it gets like this. It happens every few years so no one knows how to drive on it. They're bad enough on the 100 days it rains here.

So, suddenly, I have had an infusion of Christmas Spirit. I'm about to go put the lights on the Christmas tree. I had been thinking about not even doing the tree this year. I'll be glad when it's up.

Nazi Vampires

2008-12-07T19:31:00.004-06:00

Last week I finished reading Twilight. Ryan was out of town and I had just finished reading a teenybopper book about vampires. It was suspenseful in parts, but only I would have nightmares from reading it. I would lie in bed terrified and thinking about every scary vampirish thing I'd ever read or seen.

The other day my students were telling me what they liked about the Twilight books and answering questions about what happens in the later books since I really, really am not going to read any more of them. They really couldn't get over the fact that things like that scare me. Or that the word "cringe" appeared no less than 50 times in the book. Or that I would be bothered by that. But that's another post.

I'm also afraid of Nazis. Not neo-Nazis, although they scare me, but not in a nightmarish kind of way. I am afraid of 1930s-40s Nazis. The kind who don't exist unless you have a time machine. I have nightmares about them. I lie awake at night, petrified of them. I watch a show about Nazi art thefts before and during World War II and I think of all of the scary Nazi-villain movies. I remember watching The Sound of Music and how my mom said I would have been disobedient and betrayed the whole family by making noise. I am terrified.

What is wrong with me? What am I? 6 years old? In need of (more) medication?

What are you afraid of? What do you think of when something goes bump in the night?

And Ryan? Ever helpful, he told me that he's really a Nazi Vampire. Thanks, buddy. Thanks.

Three kinds of pie!

2008-11-27T18:57:00.003-06:00

There are many things for which I am thankful. Many. I'm a little over-emotional now, so we can focus on food.

Dinner menu:
Turkey (brined and cooked on the grill's rotisserie)
Gravy
Dressing (made with country French bread, celery and onion)
Baked sweet potato
Mashed Yukon gold potatoes
Steamed fresh green beans
Cranberry dressing (the jelly kind in the can that you cut into slices)

And dessert? THREE kinds of pie. I got the 5" pecan and apple from Central Market and made the regular-sized pumpkin myself. About 20 minutes until we sit down to eat...

Do you all hear Cartman in your head? Pie!

Can I

2008-11-26T19:12:00.004-06:00

eat the pumpkin pie yet?

How about now?

We're staying home and just doing Thanksgiving with our little family. Just the two of us this year. I love my family, but the whole thing and the traveling wear me out. Wear. Me. Out.

We are having:
turkey (brined and grilled--I think it's 8lb.)
stuffing
baked sweet potatoes
mashed yukon gold potatoes
steamed green beans

5" apple pie from Central Market
5" pecan pie from Central Market
regular size pumpkin that I made--no that's not too many pies for two people

I know. I should eat the pumpkin pie NOW!

Peer pressure

2008-11-18T21:10:00.003-06:00

I should be finishing my PowerPoint for tomorrow. We're starting Macbeth! I'm really excited. Seriously. But not enough to be doing the presentation instead of a meme. My friends are such bad influences. Maybe I'll tell the kids tomorrow that someone stole it out of my locker--that excuse makes sense to them...

Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says: "...they were sitting in the corner of the cafeteria, as far..." from Twilight. I'm on about page 25 and I'm hooked!
Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first? Teacher's Edition for the Brit Lit textbook. It's about the size of a briefcase and twice as heavy. And yes, Twilight was on top. I guess this meme isn't the only thing keeping me from the PowerPoint.
What is the last thing you watched on TV? SNL from this weekend on the DVR
WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what time it is: 9:30
Now look at the clock, what is the actual time? 9:19
With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? TV, dog snoring
When did you last step outside? what were you doing? around 6:45, I went to choir practice, back at 8:45?
Before you came to this website, what did you look at? Bally Total Fitness (changing out automatic debit)
What are you wearing? Lucky jeans, Tulsa Marathon t-shirt, white sweatsocks
Did you dream last night? Yes. Very elaborate dreams. I remember the ones from this morning when I should have been awake (alarm didn't go off)
When did you last laugh? Justin Timberlake on SNL
What is on the walls of the room you are in? pictures, pictures, pictures: family and friends, trips, vintage posters, mosaic crucifix
Seen anything weird lately? No less than 3 women dressed as bumblebees in the marathon
What do you think of this quiz? Fun!
What is the last film you saw? Batman
If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first? Tuition for a master's degree and a MINI Cooper Clubman to drive to classes
Tell me something about you that I don't know: Seriously? There's something I haven't vomited out into the interweb? I doubt it.
If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? End war--that would help a lot of other things
Do you like to dance? Yes, and I've been told that I'm pretty good at it.
Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? a boy? Antonia Susanna after my favorite author and friend--if you know me IRL, you will laugh at those initials, so no, I'm not serious, but I think those are cool names. Jonathan Stephen for a boy.
Would you ever consider living abroad? This question is clearly here to taunt me. I would be SO THERE if they ever wanted Ryan overseas. Well, unless it was some horrifying compound in a war-torn nation like Kerplakistan.

Meme Time!

2008-11-18T19:48:00.000-06:00

Kristen tagged me for this one. It's a one-word-wonders meme: answering one word questions but not with one word answers.

1. Clothes- Classic, vintage (40s, 50s New Look, 60s shifts), with lots of bright colors, black and chocolate brown, very infrequently navy. Heavy on skirts, dresses, or jeans.
2. Furniture- Contemporary, modern, some simple wooden antiques
3. Sweet- chocolate
4. City- Paris, London
5. Drink- milk, mojito
6. Music- yes: techno, dance, lounge, classical, folk...
7. TV Series- Mad Men
8. Film- Roman Holiday, Rear Window, Shag, Napoleon Dynamite
9. Workout- running, elliptical trainer. I want to add (back) Pilates
10. Pastries- chocolate croissants
11. Coffee- with so much cream and sugar it's a milkshake with caffeine
12. Eyeshadow- wore it on my wedding day
13. Lips- MAC that I need to replace since I bought it (ahem) the week before our wedding. I do have some Jaqua lip gloss that tastes like frosting. I also have Nars blood red lipstick pencil (the chubby kind) and lipgloss--I can't pull it off very often.
14. Shampoo- Redken Color Extend
15. Moisturizer- Clinique gel

Have you been tagged yet? If not, and you want to... do it!

Finally, a picture of the new haircut

2008-11-17T19:45:00.002-06:00

I kicked those hills' butts and made them like it

2008-11-16T15:17:00.010-06:00

We're in Tulsa to run--marathon for Ryan and half marathon for me.
Cold, cold cold. I'm wearing another shirt under the pink one and my butt was about to freeze off.
Seriously, how cute is he? His race started an hour before mine so I spent some time in the car with the heater on. I was afraid that I was going to fall asleep, so I went and watched his start.
That's a lot fewer people than Houston.
My race started at 9, so I walked around a little and found a sunny spot to try to warm up. I kept wishing it would get warmer, but knew I'd wish it was cooler once I started. My teeth were chattering so hard I almost bit my tongue off. My body is NOT used to cold anymore.
Yes, folks, that's my pace.
Waiting for the gun to go off so I could get moving and warm up. It was so tempting because it was cold and windy, but I didn't want to tire myself out.
And we're off! Crossing the Arkansas River. I couldn't feel my legs and I knew I running too fast. My first mile was 9 minutes. Crap! Slow down, slow down, slow down! I didn't want to burn up all my energy at the beginning and I was saving it for the end and the hills.

Route 66 sign-- we actually ran on a short section of it.
This is when I knew that a 3-hour half marathon was within reach.
I ran up those hills and I knew that I could do it. I tried to run UP every hill and walk down. One windy hill was just mean. I passed a guy in a wheelchair, pulling himself backward. Um, file that under shut up, whiner. I did have to pull out the inhaler at the top when I developed the serious asthmatic cough that I get. I'm sure it was pleasant for the people running near me.

I kept running, walking occasionally. I kept it in my mind that 3 hours was possible and maybe even less. I tried to run, to keep running, but not too hard. I rounded the corner into the final stretch and I smiled like an idiot. I could see 2:50 on the board. I passed under at 2:52:15. My chip time (based on when I crossed the start line) was:

2:50:25

Oh yeah, baby! Last year, it was 3:06, so I totally blew that out of the water. I got my medal (very cool) and went to get my bag and wait for Ryan. I figured he'd be coming in fast, so I was able to get a nice shot of him...
Look at that--standing straight, looking strong.
And the clock? 4:14:39. PR (Personal Record) and a half. Last year was 4:26. Go us! I think all of the training helped, we're both a little lighter, and with the exception of the hills, the course was a fast one. And the temperature? Once I was moving, it was heaven! Think we can get some of that in Houston in January?? Yeah, right.

Now it is time for some serious R&R. I am driving us home tomorrow. But today I am lying on the couch. Drinking Gatorade and water and now searching for something for my tummy. That hamburger at the park after the race is GONE. My heart rate monitor said I burned 2100 calories. We're having sandwiches and chicken noodle soup (home made) tonight and Braum's hamburgers tomorrow on the way home.

Tease

2008-11-13T07:25:00.002-06:00

I got a haircut last night. Four inches. Same style, just shorter. So much lighter. My neck can relax.
Leaving tomorrow for Tulsa for the half-marathon for me, marathon for Ryan. Actually looking forward to the time in the car together.
I went through 3 (THREE) Nike + iPod foot sensors last night. Two trips to the store. I was enraged, because that's how I get with inanimate objects. The third one works and is on my shoe now. And I have a little pouch so it won't fall off like the original (#1 if this one is #4) did and get lost in the grass.
#2 said I was "running" 2 hour and 44 minute MILES. I think that's an actual turtle's pace. I tried to calibrate the thing, but apparently, if you try to make it, oh, 100x different than what it thinks it just tells you, no, that's not right, try again.
I've been tagged for some memes that I'm looking forward to doing while we're in deep relaxation mode this weekend.
I am collecting some samples of student writing to share. They're good.
I find that kids selling candy enjoy being told that yes, I want it, I want all of it, so no, I can't.

Was I crying?

2008-11-11T21:44:00.004-06:00

I've been stressed lately. And just plain depressed. Today during lunch was yet another poetry club meeting and there was more squealing than poetry. I knew I wasn't into it, but dang. This picture says it all. I really need to not spend my lunch hours with the kids.
When is Thanksgiving?